Christian Living, Gratitude, Prayer
John Beeson
Becoming What You Hate

In the fall of 1997, I arrived at Gordon College. Nestled 45 minutes northeast of Boston, Gordon’s beautiful campus sits in the heart of New England. This southwest kid was about to get the full New England experience. And you can’t have a New England experience without experiencing her fans.

Just three years later, the newly minted coach of the Patriots, Bill Belichick, would draft Tom Brady with the 199th draft pick of the 2000 NFL draft. At that point, the Patriots had logged a sad 68-92 record in the 1990s.

Becoming What You Hate
Christian Living, Leadership
John Beeson
What’s Your Leadership Superpower? (And What’s ...

My grandma Betty’s house smelled of lilacs and bacon. Her favorite dusting powder and her favorite breakfast food blended to form a smell all her own that permeated her one-bedroom apartment. I’m sure she didn’t realize the unique olfactory experience she greeted her visitors with.

We become nose blind to the smells we are often around. We recently rented a vehicle that smelled of dirty diapers. By the third day, we weren’t sure if the nasty smell had dissipated or we had just grown accustomed to it.

Similarly, we are often blind to how others experience our leadership. Have you ever met someone who thinks they have a gifting they clearly don’t have?

What’s Your Leadership Superpower? (And What’s Your Leadership Kryptonite?)
Recommendations, Christian Living, Consumerism, Finance, Culture
John Beeson
This Week's Recommendations

  1. If you want to be miserable, then spend your money like this: Morgan Housel begins, “Tell yourself that you’ll be satisfied once you make just a little more money, have a little bit nicer home, and can spend just a little bit more than you do now. Ignore the fact that the group you’re in now used to be a dream that you thought would bring you contentment and happiness.”

  2. If you ask AI for marriage advice, it’ll probably tell you to get divorced: Samuel James with an important post. “I’m convinced that part of the emerging polarization between men and women has to do with the increasingly niche information streams that men and women are immersed in. Men see the excesses and abuses of feminism daily. Women see the excesses and abuses of masculinity daily.”

This Week's Recommendations
Biblical Studies, Christian Living, Identity
John Beeson
The Worst Hall of Fame Ever!

Just recently my sister was inducted into the Stanford Hall of Fame. Sarah is a phenomenal athlete who was a stand-out high school athlete in swimming and softball. She went on to play softball for Stanford University where she batted .350 with 28 home runs over her career and was a three-time All American, eventually playing on the US Women’s National Team.

You might be familiar with some of the other members of Stanford’s Hall of Fame: Tiger Woods and John Elway are two of the other inductees. Sarah My is also a member of the Pima County Sports Hall of Fame alongside Tucson greats like Steve Kerr, Lute Olsen, and Sean Elliott.

The Worst Hall of Fame Ever!
Fear, Parenting, Family
John Beeson
The Trap of Fear-Based Parenting

She was one day old with the brightest, bluest eyes, a bald head, and the cutest little ears that stuck nearly perpendicular out of her head.

We checked out at the hospital's front desk and walked to our car with our baby girl in the car seat. As the safety officer checked out the security of our car seat base, a wave of fear came over me. Why would they let us take this beautiful baby home?

To be a parent is to experience fear. Will they be safe? Will they be bullied? Will they make friends? Will they like me? Will they survive a sexually confused world?

The Trap of Fear-Based Parenting
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Would You Forgive Me for My Narcissism?

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Would You Forgive Me for My Narcissism?

In the ancient myth, the hunter Narcissus was acclaimed for his beauty. Many sought Narcissus romantically, but he spurned them all. One day on a hunt, Narcissus paused to rest by a pool of water, stooping for a drink, he caught sight of his own reflection. He fell in love with his reflection and stayed by the pool staring at himself for the rest of his life.

 

The American Psychiatric Association defines narcissistic personality disorder as, “a pattern of need for admiration and lack of empathy for others. A person with narcissistic personality disorder may have a grandiose sense of self-importance, a sense of entitlement, take advantage of others or lack empathy.” Do you have some narcissism in you? I do.

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Grieving Over the Holidays

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Grieving Over the Holidays

Was there an empty seat at your table this Thanksgiving?

This has been a hard stretch for our New Life family. Several church members have recently passed away over the last several weeks. In addition, several more have lost friends and family members.

Loss comes unbidden and with it arrives grief.

Grief is difficult during any season, but the holidays have a way of stoking the embers of grief.

How do you survive grieving the death of a loved one? There is no recipe, no quick fixes. You will need the presence of God, the comfort of community, and time. David promises that, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). God’s goodness and grace don’t stop there: God heals the brokenhearted and those crushed in spirit.

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This Week's Recommendations

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This Week's Recommendations

Thankfulness (and other habits): Marli Scarborough says our gratitude is tied to our identity, “So when [Paul] says “don’t BE anxious,” he’s not saying “don’t FEEL anxious,” or “don’t have anxiety.” He’s saying that anxiety doesn’t have to be your identity. Your identity is in Christ. Joy and gentleness and peace are already yours for the taking.”

  1. Before you gather, mourn your sin: Paul Tripp offers a surprising recommendation for how to make your Thanksgiving special. He begins, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted” (Matt. 5:4). We don’t tend to like to be sad. We hate bad news. We work to avoid problems. We apologize when we cry in public. Being depressed scares us. In our avoidance of sadness, we often numb ourselves to death with endless social media fluff and vacuous Netflix entertainment.”

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The Danger of Ingratitude

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The Danger of Ingratitude

There is a deadly toxin that contaminates the air we breathe. It’s a poison that, if we are aware of it at all, seems innocuous to us both because everyone else is breathing it in, and as far as we’re aware of it, others are breathing more of it in than us.

The poison is ingratitude. And it is everywhere.

Everything (that I don’t have) is Awesome

Psychologists agree that social media has made us less happy. Why is that? Because the constant access into others’ lives taps into our propensity toward ingratitude. We are surrounded by neighbors with nicer cars, friends who take better and longer vacations, couples who are happier, and everyone seems to be fitter and better dressed than we are. And it’s all there for us to see tucked into that powerful, shiny rectangle in our pockets. Every minute of every day.

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How Do You Forgive Someone Who Is Gone?

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How Do You Forgive Someone Who Is Gone?

“I want to forgive him, but how do I forgive someone who died years ago?”

“I want to forgive her, but I don’t have any way to contact her.”

 Do you have someone in your life that you want to forgive, but you don’t know how to because they are no longer in your life or perhaps they have passed away? This topic has come up a number of times in counseling others. May I offer some advice?

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This Week's Recommendations

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This Week's Recommendations

  1. Lifetimes in landscapes: Brianna Lambert with a wonderfully evocative piece of writing, “He grew up in the foothills of the forest. Where the horizon disappeared behind the blue ridges. He’d spend his days with his eyes lifted towards the clouds that kissed the forehead of the mountaintops.”

  2. How to get the most out of your counseling sessions: Jason Hsieh says, “Just as you would take a doctor’s medical prescriptions seriously. You can do this by regularly reviewing those particular biblical perspectives and following through on any new habits to form that you discuss.”

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Why Do I Have To Keep On Forgiving?

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Why Do I Have To Keep On Forgiving?

Why do I have to keep forgiving him?

I’ve heard it many times as a pastor. It’s said with weariness and hurt, or bitterness and anger, or confusion and longing. It can mean at least four things.

  • “It hurts too much to keep forgiving him for repeated sins.”

  • “Can’t I just overlook her sin against me?”

  • “He hurt me so deeply that he doesn’t deserve forgiveness.”

  • “Why am I still hurting over an offense when I said I forgave her?”

What does God’s Word have to say about each of these situations?

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Creating a Family of Belovedness

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Creating a Family of Belovedness

We stepped into the candy shop and could feel it immediately. We were welcome here. And no, it wasn’t just the aroma of chocolate wafting through the air (although that helped!). It was in the kind eyes of the shop owner, in the smile of her employee as she swept the floor. The sign outside said the shop closed five minutes earlier. “Are you sure it’s okay we come in?” I cautiously asked. “Of course!” she said. And I could feel that she meant it.

 The atmosphere in her candy shop stood in stark contrast with the cold and unwelcome atmospheres of several other shops we had visited in this tired New Mexican town. Near the end of our summer vacation, we all felt the unmistakable depression that lingered in this small town.

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This Week's Recommendations

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This Week's Recommendations

  1. Five misconceptions about dechurching in America: Jim Davis and Michael Davis share that, “We’re currently living in the largest and fastest religious shift in U.S. history. Some 40 million adult Americans who used to go to church at least once per month now attend less than once per year. This shift is larger than the number of conversions during the First Great Awakening, Second Great Awakening, and the totality of the Billy Graham Crusades combined.”

  2. Immature defenses of ‘mature’ sexual content in movies: Cap Stewart begins, “In a pornified culture like ours, it’s no wonder various scenes from mainstream films and television shows demonstrate a “porn aesthetic” (to borrow a phrase from academic Shelton Waldrep). We’re not just talking about raunchy comedies, erotic thrillers, or TV-MA (“mature audience”) HBO shows. Works of otherwise genuine artistry and quality storytelling can be tainted by the inclusion of a sex scene or two.”

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Aren't There Contradictions in the Bible?

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Aren't There Contradictions in the Bible?

Why should I believe that the Bible is trustworthy? How do I respond to a friend who has questions about the Bible?

Atheists.org begins its post on Biblical Contradictions with this statement: “It is a central dogma of all fundamental Christians that the Bible is without error. They teach this conclusion by “reasoning” that god cannot be the author of false meaning and he cannot lie. Is this true? If written by a perfect being, then it must not contradict itself, as a collection of books written by different men at different times over many centuries would be expected to contradict each other.

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