prayer

The Top Ten Ways to Lead in Your Home (and Organization, Too!)

The Top Ten Ways to Lead in Your Home (and Organization, Too!)

In the past post we considered the biblical priority of leading in our homes before stepping into leadership callings outside of our home.

When I was asked to speak to our Mom’s Matter group on leading well in the home I was a bit intimidated. I felt far from equipped to speak as a man to women on the topic of leadership. And so, I did the only thing I could think of: I asked wise, godly women who were also great leaders. Starting with my wife, I began to listen to the advice my female friends offered on leadership in the home and beyond.

Believer, beware

Believer, beware

I grew up in the age of Neil Anderson and Frank Peretti, two Christian authors who used their pens to try to enlighten their audiences about the power and pervasiveness of the spiritual world. I can still picture the claws descending from heaven on the cover of Peretti’s This Present Darkness that spooked me as a child.

 As I developed theologically, especially through the influence of Reformed thinkers, I began to set aside these influences, which now felt naïve. To focus on the demonic forces of the world seemed to leave people with magical worldviews, where they held very little power over their own actions, and diminished the importance of mortifying the flesh as disciples of Jesus.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Lifetimes in landscapes: Brianna Lambert with a wonderfully evocative piece of writing, “He grew up in the foothills of the forest. Where the horizon disappeared behind the blue ridges. He’d spend his days with his eyes lifted towards the clouds that kissed the forehead of the mountaintops.”

  2. How to get the most out of your counseling sessionsJason Hsieh says, “Just as you would take a doctor’s medical prescriptions seriously. You can do this by regularly reviewing those particular biblical perspectives and following through on any new habits to form that you discuss.”

Strange Questions to Ask Your (future) Pastor

Strange Questions to Ask Your (future) Pastor

I hope you’ve considered why you’ve left your former church (I’ve written on the ten reasons to leave a church here).

 

You’ve already watched a service online, read the church’s doctrinal statement, and visited the church. What comes next?

 

“What does a church believe?” When Angel and I were first married and looking for a home church, I was laser-focused on the prospective churches’ theology and denomination. Those things matter. You will likely also ask, “How solid is the worship ministry?” And, if you have kids, you will definitely ask, “Is the children’s ministry biblically grounded, safe, and engaging?”

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. A Call to Raise Daughters Wise to Domestic Abuse: Excellent article by Jeremy Pierre. He begins, “’If your future husband ever lays a finger on you, you better tell me so I can kill him.’ This is the extent to which many dads address abuse with their daughters. It feels effective because it’s simple, protective, and tough. And it also feels kind of awesome to say.

  2. Loving With a Limp: Chris Thomas writes, “Maybe, like Jacob, an encounter with God will leave you living life with a limp, serving with a limp, worshiping with a limp; loving with a limp.”

  3. Cords Have Memory: Lauren Washer likens the memory of electrical cords with our inner lives. “Our inner lives have a similar type of cord memory. We inherit ideas, values, and belief systems from our families, faith backgrounds, and cultural surroundings. Many of these are good and right. But sometimes, the way we’ve always done things or thought about things, isn’t good.”

  4. Bend Me Toward the Light: Glenna Marshall says, “When I find myself spending copious amounts of time pursuing distractions, my prayer has become one of crooked house plants and branchy, horizontal azaleas: “Lord, bend me toward the Light.” Distractions are just that—distractions. We aren’t meant to spend our time and mental margin on things that do not feed our souls. We’ll wither up and die without spiritual nourishment, especially if our flesh is yearning for what the world offers”

  5. The Anatomy of an Apology: Justin Hale responds to this question, “I recently did something hurtful to a family member. Shortly afterward, I said I was sorry but the person didn’t seem to accept my apology. I’ve tried to reach out but they are giving me a bit of a “cold shoulder.” They still seem bugged about what I did. I feel like I’ve done my part and now it’s up to them to accept the apology. Should I be looking at this differently?”

How do You Pray for Someone Who is Hurting?

How do You Pray for Someone Who is Hurting?

“How are you?” you greet your neighbor at the park. You ask the question like you mean it.

“Okay,” she responds. But the crease between her eyebrows and the slump of her shoulders lets you know that she is most definitely not “okay.”

“What’s the matter?” you ask, lovingly responding to her body language instead of her words.

She begins to open up. She and her husband got in a fight last night. Tears begin to flow. She’s worried about her mom’s health. She’s anxious about work. The conversation winds to a close. You would like to pray for her, but how do you cross that bridge? How do you pray for someone in need?

Perhaps the only thing stronger than our natural impulse toward the spiritual and religious is our reticence toward public displays of our religion. Last week we talked about five reasons we ought to press through our discomfort to pray for those in need. Those reasons were:

So Much More Than “Sending Good Thoughts”

So Much More Than “Sending Good Thoughts”

Your co-worker has just shared with you that her husband was just diagnosed with cancer. You press in and provide a listening ear. But as the conversation closes, what do you say? Nothing? That you will pray for her family? Or do you ask if you could pray with her right then?

I’ve done all three, and there are circumstances where all three are wise and godly responses. But usually praying for a friend with a request then and there is the best response. There have been far too many times when I have not prayed with someone who needed prayer or told them I would pray for them later when the most loving thing I should have done for them was to pray with them right there.

Offering to pray for someone in the moment can feel awkward. Your mind races: do they even believe in God? What god do they believe in? Are they going to be offended if I ask?

Why is it worth the risk to pray for someone in need? And how do you do it?

When we pray for someone, we demonstrate Christianity is so much more than mere platitudes.

One of the most frequent responses I’ve observed on Facebook from unbelievers when encountering difficult situations with others is their promise to “send good thoughts.” The statement itself concedes that it is nothing more than a platitude. What does it look like to “send good thoughts”? Will the one who promises to send them follow through? What happens when those “good thoughts” are sent? Will they have any impact? On all counts: no, and assuredly not. When we say “I’ll pray for you” for many non-Christians, they hear a promise as empty as “sending good thoughts.” By actually praying with them then and there, you are demonstrating that you are not just offering a sentiment, not just dropping an empty platitude, but you will follow through.

When we pray for someone, we demonstrate we have really heard our friend.

Praying out loud with your friend shows that you have really heard them. As you ask God to intervene in the situation and you echo back specifics they mentioned and reflect to God emotions they may not have even stated out loud, your friend can hear your attention to them.

Do You Struggle With Prayer?

Do You Struggle With Prayer?

Whose prayer life is what they want it to be? Mine certainly isn’t what I hope it will be one day. Just this morning I decided that I would take out my earbuds during my workout and use the time for prayer. Minutes later I found my mind wandering, counting my reps, and even checking my phone for incoming messages. Why would I deny listening to and talk with my Creator and Savior? And yet I refuse this opportunity more frequently than I would care to admit. I want to say yes, but I say no. How do we improve our prayer lives? This is the question that Kevin Halloran tackles in his practical book, When Prayer is a Struggle.

Halloran invites us to experience the life of prayer God longs for us to have with him. Halloran reminds us that our prayer life and our faith are interrelated. The health of my prayer life is directly connected to the strength of my faith. He says, “Prayer is the natural overflow of a growing faith.” We don’t pray as we ought because we struggle with our faith. Does my life depend on the active work of God today, or is it mere intellectual assent to his existence? My prayer life reveals it is too often the latter.

Halloran encourages us to lean into our prayer life with God not trying to get it “right,” but to engage God and grow our faith. I love the quote from Jared Wilson he shares, “You may think your prayers are nothing to write home about. That’s fine. You are not writing home, but heaven. God is merciful. He accepts your lame prayers. What he wants is not your eloquence but your heart.” Our prayer life isn’t meant to be a demonstration of our eloquence or intelligence or spirituality, but the expression of a vibrant relationship with the Caretaker of our souls.

Halloran wants us to utilize the Bible in our prayer life. Scripture ought to feed our prayer life. It gives us words to say to God when we don’t know what to say, it directs us to God’s heart when we feel distant from him. If you want to dive into this particular topic more, I would encourage you to read Praying the Bible by Donald Whitney alongside Halloran’s book.

My favorite chapter is probably Chapter 4 where Halloran engages the question, “Why doesn’t God listen?”

Spiritual Disciplines and Blogging

Spiritual Disciplines and Blogging

Today I’m thrilled to announce that our audiobook for Blogging for God’s Glory in a Clickbait World has hit the virtual shelves at Amazon. My co-author, Benjamin Vrbicek and I have lowered the price of the audiobook and the regular book for the launch, so grab a copy and share the link with someone who might benefit.

Below is a portion of one of the chapters in the book: Spiritual Disciplines and Blogging. I hope it whets your appetite! (And check out the very end of this post for an opportunity to win a free audiobook.)

SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINES AND BLOGGING

I was told not to equate preparing for sermons with devotional Bible reading. There is truth in that encouragement. If we professionalize spiritual disciplines, then our spiritual life tends to become stuffy and transactional from expecting that clocking in yields certain results. On the other hand, I’ve learned if the posture of my heart in my sermon preparation isn’t devotional, then my preaching becomes dry and academic. If I am not growing spiritually through my pastoral ministry, I’m not pastoring as God intended. I would say the same thing to engineers, teachers, stay-at-home moms, and salespeople. I’d say the same thing to bloggers.

Blogging ought to grow us in holiness. When we blog for God’s glory, the discipline of writing becomes integrated into the web of our spiritual disciplines. We believe blogging can be cultivated as a companion to spiritual disciplines and even as a spiritual discipline in its own right. Before we consider this, we want to send up a warning flare: challenges for the Christian blogger abound.

1+ 36 Prayers of Repentance for Pastors

1+ 36 Prayers of Repentance for Pastors

An Indian pastor friend recently shared with me a series of prayers of repentance he wrote for himself and his fellow Indian pastors.[i] I’ve benefited from praying these prayers. It came at a good time as I’ve been walking through Piercing Heaven, a wonderful book of prayers from the Puritans that has strengthened my prayer life. Below is a prayer of repentance from Piercing Heaven, and the 37 prayers from my friend. I would encourage you to tailor each as prayers for yourself and your leaders.

My Sins! My Sins!

My heart is a sin-pool; I cannot even count the swarms of sinful thoughts, words, and actions that have flowed from it.

My head and my heart are full from the load of guilt that is on my soul. My mind and body are full of sin.

My sins, they stare at me! My creditors are upon me. Every commandment takes hold of me, for more than ten thousand talents, yes, ten thousand times ten thousand.

How endless then is the sum of my debts!