Marriage

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
    1. Suicide—when hope runs out:Jonathan Noyes, “Suicide rates have climbed 36 percent in the last 20 years, according to the Center for Disease Control.[4] Recent studies show that 13.6 percent of 18- to 25-year-olds have seriously contemplated ending their lives.”

    2. The real reason the unchurched do not attend (and what you can do about it):Sam Rainer with an article that ought to spur us to action, “The unchurched start attending regularly because of spiritual prompts: growing spiritually (32%) and God told me to go (20%). The spiritual prompt is coupled with the personal prompt. The unchurched also start attending regularly because someone invited them (22%) and a spouse wants them to go (17%).”

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
    1. What does the Bible teach about divorce and remarriage? Jim Newheiser says, “Due to our increasingly therapeutic culture and its expansive definitions of “abuse,” the pendulum has swung in our day from protecting marriage at the expense of not protecting victims of abuse to protecting alleged victims at the expense of not adequately protecting marriage.”

    2. Fewer want childrenA sobering poll from Pew reveals that “Adults younger than 50 without children who say they are unlikely to ever have kids rose 10 percentage points between 2018 and 2023 (from 27% to 47%).

Your Marriage Doesn't Need Better Communication

Your Marriage Doesn't Need Better Communication

“The biggest problem in our marriage is our communication.” It’s perhaps the most frequent issue that is brought to the table when Angel (my wife and counselor) and I meet with couples. At the core of many marriage seminars and conferences is the issue of how to improve the communication in your marriage.

I don’t buy it. Your marriage doesn’t need better communication.

Alright, alright. I’m overstating that for dramatic effect. Communication is important and often needs work. There are some helpful things you can do to improve communication in your marriage. But the fact remains: I’ve yet to encounter a marriage that the fundamental issue is communication. More serious issues always lurk beneath the surface.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. The blame game: Casey McCall asks, “What is it about our race that leads us to reflexively—subconsciously even—defer responsibility and search for excuses in the face of blame? I notice it in myself, in my children, and in people I counsel.”

  2. When is a couple considered married? Robby Lashua responds to common questions, “When is a couple considered married? After the ceremony? When they sign the license? After sex? What verses support this?”

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. The world cannot be gender blindTrevin Wax, “One of the strange ironies of our times: a significant segment of the left pushes back forcefully against the idea of “color blindness” regarding race but demands what amounts to “gender blindness” regarding sex…”

  2. Violent pornography’s assault on the marriage bedA very sobering read from Joe Carter, “Because these images are being fed to him when his personality is still being formed and his sexuality is developing, he begins to confuse his desires with those he sees in porn…

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. The data is clear: people are having less sexRyan Burge concludes, “Who would have thought that Mark Zuckerberg building an app to try and meet girls would eventually be one of the causes of declining fertility. But, here we are.”

  2. Climb a mountain, swim a sea, fight a dragonTim Challies on grace and works, “I think that if Elisha had told Naaman to do something hard and heroic, he would have gladly done it. If he had been told to climb a mountain or swim a sea or fight a dragon, he would have embarked on so noble a quest.

Our Rescue Story

Our Rescue Story

“What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?” It is not that Thomas doesn’t believe marriage can be a source of joy, but that we ask too much if we ask marriage to bring us our “happily ever after.” Joy will likely trail holiness if we make that the main aim in marriage, but if we aim at happiness, we will miss both happiness and holiness.

 Angel and I can testify to how fragile marriage is. In the summer of 2009, our marriage began unraveling after my first three years of pastoral ministry—years I neglected Angel for my mistress, the church.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Why I’m not an exvangelicalCarey Nieuwhof explains, “I, too, am tired of the abuse, corruption, arrogance, shallow thinking, anti-intellectualism, partisanship, and politicization of the Christian message. I’m done with the racism, toxic culture, and the abuse of power we see again and again.”

  2. What do Mormons believe about marriage? Liesl Counterman explains, “In Mormonism, the bare minimum entrance requirement to eternal life is baptism, but the way to reach the highest heaven is through marriage.”

The Top Ten Ways to Lead in Your Home (and Organization, Too!)

The Top Ten Ways to Lead in Your Home (and Organization, Too!)

In the past post we considered the biblical priority of leading in our homes before stepping into leadership callings outside of our home.

When I was asked to speak to our Mom’s Matter group on leading well in the home I was a bit intimidated. I felt far from equipped to speak as a man to women on the topic of leadership. And so, I did the only thing I could think of: I asked wise, godly women who were also great leaders. Starting with my wife, I began to listen to the advice my female friends offered on leadership in the home and beyond.

Leadership In Your Home and Beyond

Leadership In Your Home and Beyond

Who are the most influential leaders in your life? What made them such great leaders?

I fear that our cultural understanding of leadership is going further astray from true leadership. We Americans seem to have a bizarre attraction to two types of leaders: celebrities and powerful communicators with bold, brash opinions. We judge leaders by the size of their platform.

Some time ago I was asked to speak to the Moms Matter group in our church about healthy leadership in the home and beyond. One of the comments made by the leadership team was that many moms believe they “don’t need to be or can’t be a leader because they are just moms.” We can all similarly dismiss ourselves.