parenting

Advice to a Young Father

Advice to a Young Father

Three. That is how many days we get our girl home from Easter until Thanksgiving. Camille just finished her junior year in college, and Soren (our son) just finished his freshman year. We are so proud of Camile and Soren. They are earnestly pursuing the Lord, filled with his grace, and just delightful people.

A parent’s role never ends; it just changes. Every time I hold a child in my arms on a dedication Sunday, I reflect on the holy and weighty call of a parent. If I had the opportunity to sit with myself over coffee on the day we dedicated our children, here is what I would say.

Dads, First You Are a Son

Dads, First You Are a Son

I’m a husband, a father, a pastor, a son, a brother, and a friend. If we lived in a world where an omniscient teacher handed out grades for our performance, I’m pretty sure I would get my highest marks as a dad. I love being a dad.

It’s supposed to be that way. God has granted us a gift in allowing us to take on the role of being a father. There is only one true Father. God graciously allows us to reflect his fatherly relationship with us to our children. What a weighty responsibility!

For some of you, that burden brings you shame this week. Father’s Day reminds you of the ways you have neglected your kids.

The Freedom of Releasing your Motherhood (and Fatherhood)

The Freedom of Releasing your Motherhood (and Fatherhood)

I sat across from Olivia. Her hands and her voice shook. “All my life I wanted to be a mom. I was so excited to get married, mostly because then I could finally be a mom. Six months after our wedding day we got pregnant. We were so excited! We began picking out names and preparing the nursery. At four months, I miscarried. I was so angry with God. How could he let this happen? Isn’t this what he made me for?”

She began to cry. I let the quietness sit in the room.

Blessed to Multiply

Blessed to Multiply

Weeks before I received my first calling as a pastor, the elders decided that they were going to seek tWho wouldn’t want to experience God’s blessing? So, then, how can we step into the blessing of God? One of the straightforward ways the Bible teaches us that he blesses us is through children. Look, for instance, at the book of Genesis, where blessing is directly correlated to having children:

 

And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it.” (Gen. 1:28)

And God blessed Noah and his sons and said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth.” (Gen. 9:1)

The angel of the Lord also said to [Hagar], “I will surely multiply your offspring so that they cannot be numbered for multitude.” (Gen. 16:10) acquire property and build a new facility for the church. They informed me that leading the relocation and capital campaign efforts would be part of my job. As a fresh seminary graduate, I had precisely zero requisite experience for the task. I had no experience in fundraising or contracting. And, of course, seminary did not include any preparation for the task.

 Over the course of those years, I had to learn a lot, but perhaps the most important lesson I learned was that leading a congregation through a capital campaign could be a significant spiritual blessing.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Where abortion policies stand nowJoe Carter explains the impact of last week’s votes, “We need to engage sympathetically with Americans who harbor reservations about stronger restrictions, understanding their concerns while making a compelling case for protecting life. This requires developing more nuanced and persuasive arguments that can reach beyond our existing base of support.”

  2. Finding Jesus in Aisle 3Allana Walker explains what God taught her as she worked retail, “Disappointment settled on my heart as I straightened up and scanned the toilet, checking for missed spots.

Mom & Dad: Show Your Need

Mom & Dad: Show Your Need

“I have one regret of how I parented,” my friend told me. I leaned forward. My friend is a godly man married to a godly wife. He’s kind and gentle and wise. As an educator, he’s witnessed a lot of parenting, good and bad, in his day. His adult children have had their struggles but are good people. I would ask him for parenting advice in a second. What was his greatest regret?

“I wish I would’ve shown my kids my need for Christ more. I worked so hard to show them my godliness that I didn’t show them my need. I should have been more transparent. I should have shown them just how much I needed Jesus.”

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

LGBTQ+ population grows, especially among Gen Z: Aaron Earls reports, “When Gallup first measured LGBTQ+ identification in the U.S., 3.5% claimed a non-straight label in 2012. By 2020, 5.6% identified as such. That jumped to 7.1% in 2021 and has increased incrementally since then—7.2% in 2022 and 7.6% in 2023.”

  1. Can we forgive when the offender doesn’t repent? Mike Wittmer’s response is nuanced and wise, “Forgiveness is excruciating. Who wants to pardon the perpetrator who maliciously wounded us? Forgiveness can also be confusing. What should we do when the person who wronged us doesn’t repent? He doesn’t own what he did, say he’s sorry, and mean it. What then?”

The Danger of Nostalgia

The Danger of Nostalgia

What’s your favorite family memory? What is your favorite memory of church? What is your favorite holiday memory? Recollecting can bring warm feelings toward people and fond memories of places. Nostalgia can stoke gratitude. It appears that God rejoices in godly nostalgia. Take a look at Psalm 78 or Psalm 105, where God takes his people on a tour of their past, and we see his faithfulness on display.

Last week we enjoyed time together on a family vacation: we ate good food, laughed, and played lots of games. I lingered on each moment. Angel and I have been holding tightly memories these days. Our son (18) and daughter (20) are home for the summer.

Do You Have a Graduate in Your Life?

Do You Have a Graduate in Your Life?

We are feeling all the feels. Our youngest, Soren, is about to graduate from high school. This has been a season of reflection for Angel and me and a season of preparation. In our children’s ministry hallways at New Life next to each age level we have containers that represent how many days of influence remain for you as a parent before your child launches. I recognize, of course, that there is no finish line for parenting, but one’s influence and role changes significantly in each season.

 As we look back on our parenting, the most important things we taught our children were who God is and who they were.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. The danger of self-soothing through social mediaTrevin Wax warns, “Just as perusing WebMD engenders false confidence when we quickly diagnose ourselves or our family members after a cursory look at medical symptoms, we’ve become overly trusting of the self-help gurus and self-proclaimed therapists online who give advice about various psychological maladies.”

  2. The epidemic of 2012 before the pandemic of 2020Eric Geiger, “There has been a lot of talk about the pandemic’s impact on mental health deterioration. Stay at home orders and social distancing reduced both time with others and physical exercise, which adversely impacted mental health.