Relationships

Thank You Gracious Church Members

Thank You Gracious Church Members

Presidents age poorly. Photos of U.S. presidents before and after their terms reveals what we all know: the weight of leading a country impacts you. Take a look at George HW Bush after just four years. Barack Obama had nary a grey hair when he entered office. When he left, he had a lot more salt than pepper.

Leadership isn’t easy. We pastors are called to keep watch over the sheep, prepared to give an account to God for their care. That is a heavy responsibility. Many (myself included) aspire to leadership, not recognizing the burden that comes with caring for people. Some are hard to lead. They disengage, they wander, they chafe at correction, and they demand that their preferences are met.

Deep Calls to Deep

Deep Calls to Deep

We’ve all heard how poor the state of mental health in America. But the numbers are truly staggering. “Rates of depression and anxiety in the United States—fairly stable in the 2000s—rose by more than 50 percent in many studies from 2010 to 2019. The suicide rate rose 48 percent for adolescents ages 10 to 19. For girls ages 10 to 14, it rose 131 percent.” We have a serious problem.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Tortured, imperfect, and held by JesusGarrett Kell’s touching tribute to his mother, “My two earliest memories of my mother couldn’t be more different. The pleasant one is our evening routine: She’d pull me onto her lap to recite the Lord’s Prayer and sing “The Old Rugged Cross” until I fell asleep. The other is her sobbing in her bathroom, telling me how badly she wanted to die.”

  2. How Jesus helps my unbeliefErin Mount shares her struggle, “My mind knows that God has not left me, for there is nowhere I can go that he will not also be, but my heart has not felt him. All of the pain and sorrow and sickness would be much easier to bear had I felt God’s comfort, but for whatever reason, God has not felt near. It has felt like he was hiding, and as much as I have tried to find him, I couldn’t.”

How to Make Yourself At Home At (Almost) Any Church

How to Make Yourself At Home At (Almost) Any Church

“This year my resolution is to get back to God.” My friend shared his resolution with me and my heart leapt. He asked me how he could start that journey. I encouraged him to read a gospel and to connect with a church. He’s only been to church a few times in his life and I could feel the anxiety creep up on him as he considered the possibility.

When was the last time you were at church? Maybe it’s been years. Just thinking of your last time at church might make you recoil a bit. Perhaps it was the music, the awkward coffee hour, the rambling sermon.

Marshmallows and Friends

Marshmallows and Friends

Most have heard of the famous Stanford marshmallow experiment. In 1970, psychologist Walter Mischel invited kids into his lab. A child was offered a marshmallow that they could eat, or, if they waited until the researcher returned, they were given a second marshmallow. About one-third of the kids waited approximately fifteen minutes for the additional reward.

The study then tracked those children over time and found that children who waited for the second reward tended to have higher SAT scores and lower body mass indexes. Later tests have challenged those outcomes, but it hasn’t stopped parents everywhere from running the experiment on their kids, often with humorous results.

Why Satan Wants You to Think You're Alone

Why Satan Wants You to Think You're Alone

“I’m sure no one has ever told you this.”

“It’s so bad. You are going to think terrible things about me.”

“Everyone would hate me if they knew what I was thinking.”

“There is no one who loves me for me.”

I’ve heard each of these helpless words from those who sat on the couch in my office. They are raw, vulnerable, and heartbreaking confessions. The words leak their hearts’ crippling loneliness and fears that they are destined to remain alone.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Maybe you don’t need a therapistO. Alan Noble says, “I suspect that many people don’t need to see a therapist, or will only need to see one for a brief time to deal with an acute problem like the loss of a loved one. Everyone will suffer. Everyone will need wise counsel and encouragement and guidance and someone to talk to, but not everyone needs that guidance to come from a licensed mental health professional.”

  2. We can’t be friendsT.M. Suffield writes on the absence of deep male friendship and how to buck the trend, “And perhaps,

What Do Teens Believe?

What Do Teens Believe?

Are you encouraged or discouraged about teens? If you’re a teen, what is your perception of your peers? Are you hopeful? Or pessimistic? Not long ago, One Hope released a massive global study on the state of teens worldwide. In the report, we find reasons to be encouraged and causes for concern. 

Spending time reflecting on what teens believe and do ought to help shape the way we pray for them and relate to them. I’ll process five sections of the report: Christian practice, struggles, social media, sexuality, and the meaning of life in teens’ lives and then draw some conclusions.

Why Did They Ghost Me?

Why Did They Ghost Me?

I love gardening. I love helping bring something to life, nurturing it, and watching it flourish.

I am not particularly great at gardening, though. Any improvement I’ve had has come through the school of hard knocks: a plant I put in the wrong soil, a plant placed in the incorrect amount of sunlight, or not giving a plant the right amount of water (my default is always that more must be better—it isn’t).

Relationships are like plants, aren’t they? They are fragile. They are challenging.

Paul's Advice To a College Freshman

Paul's Advice To a College Freshman

Today, I hand this space over to my daughter, Camille, a rising junior in college. I asked Camille what advice she would offer to those who are making the jump from high school to college. Even if it doesn’t apply to you, I bet you’ll be interested in what she has to say.

-John