family

Creating a Family of Belovedness

Creating a Family of Belovedness

We stepped into the candy shop and could feel it immediately. We were welcome here. And no, it wasn’t just the aroma of chocolate wafting through the air (although that helped!). It was in the kind eyes of the shop owner, in the smile of her employee as she swept the floor. The sign outside said the shop closed five minutes earlier. “Are you sure it’s okay we come in?” I cautiously asked. “Of course!” she said. And I could feel that she meant it.

 The atmosphere in her candy shop stood in stark contrast with the cold and unwelcome atmospheres of several other shops we had visited in this tired New Mexican town. Near the end of our summer vacation, we all felt the unmistakable depression that lingered in this small town.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. The shriveling of the American soul: Trevin Wax comments on an alarming report“In 1998, 70 percent of respondents said patriotism was very important and 62 percent said the same about religion. Today, it’s only 38 percent and 39 percent. Having children? A drop from 59 percent to 30 percent. What about community involvement? From 62 percent to 27 percent.”

  2. With the wild animals: Mitch Case ponders why Mark tells us that Jesus was with the wild animals in the wilderness. “Jesus is among the beasts and the Ancient Serpent himself. But the wilderness will not dominate the Son of David. Jesus is the Last Adam, and he enters the wilderness with the power to subdue and renew.”

  3. The God who knows: Tim Challies encourages us, “We are so weak. Life is so hard. Our enemies are so vicious. But God is so good. For it’s to weak people, not strong or self-sufficient people, that the Bible assures us that Jesus knows. He knows the facts of your weaknesses, and even better, he knows the experience of your weaknesses.”

  4. A gentle reminder: Anne Imboden on the power of gentleness, “When we are tempted to react rather than respond, let’s remember that relationships and the hearts they embody are fragile. Tenderness is key to their protection.”

  5. Most churchgoers say they want to serve, fewer actually do: Marissa Postell Sullivan shares a data from a sobering survey, “Despite saying they want to serve people who are not a part of their church, few churchgoers are even serving within the context of their own churches. Two in 3 (66%) churchgoers say they have not volunteered for a charity (ministry, church or non-ministry) in the previous year.”

How To Lead Your Family Spiritually

How To Lead Your Family Spiritually

On the precipice of empty-nesting (we have a nineteen-year-old and a seventeen-year-old in our house), I’ve been reflecting a bit about what has worked and what hasn’t worked as I have tried to lead our family spiritually.

I have had my share of failures as a spiritual leader of our family. By God’s grace, our kids are faithfully following Christ. Their vibrant spiritual lives are a mercy of God’s grace, not a product of Angel and my strategy or hard work.

How Motherhood Began to Strip Me of Myself

How Motherhood Began to Strip Me of Myself

During the halftime show for Super Bowl 2003, serenaded by Shania Twain, I took a pregnancy test. Two lines appeared. Pregnant? How could I be pregnant? How does this fit into my plan? Tears began to flow. Not tears of joy. Tears of overwhelm.

The beginning of motherhood started to strip me of my selfishness and desire to control. I was forced into this land of surrendering my well-planned life.

Jesus and Family

Jesus and Family

For many Christians the idol that goes unchallenged is family.

This can be the case in my life, and for good reason. I love my family. No family is perfect, but I couldn’t be more grateful for my family: a mom and dad who love me well and celebrated 47 years of marriage this year, a sister who I love spending time with, and in-laws I genuinely enjoy.

And I overflow with thanksgiving for my wife and two children, who are a constant source of love and joy in my life.

Jesus’ relationship with his family is much more complicated. At times it seems strained and unhealthy, even. Is that the case? And how should Jesus’ relationship with his family influence our relationship with our family?

The Hard Edges

Let’s examine four scenes in Jesus’ life that involve family. The first three of these scenes have some pretty hard edges regarding Jesus' teaching on family.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Let the Global Church Give You Perspective: This is really helpful advice from Trevin Wax. He begins, “Stay connected to the global church if you want to hold on to orthodoxy…and if you want to hold on to your sanity.”

  2. God Does Not Despise the Small Things: Ed Welch begins, “Zechariah 4:10 says, ‘Who despises the day of small things?’ Indeed, everything we do is a very small thing.”

  3. Does God Give Us Only What We Can Handle? My friend Caroline Albanese reflects on a tumultuous three years in her family’s life. She says, “All these events took place in rapid succession. The emotional toll on our family is incredible. Suffice to say, the weight on our souls has felt absolutely unbearable, and we’ve been clinging to Christ for dear life.”

  4. Does ‘Love the Sinner Hate the Sin’ Still Work? Carl Trueman explains how the cultural shift to expressive individualism creates an argument where this posture is intolerable. He clarifies, “The old chestnut of “love the sinner, hate the sin” simply does not work in a world where the sin is the identity of the sinner and the two cannot be separated even at a conceptual level. In a time when the normative notion of selfhood is psychological, then to hate the sin is to hate the sinner.”

  5. Escape from Kabul: Sarah Eekhoff Zylstra tells the story of Christians fleeing Kabul, Afghanistan in this gripping podcast. Despite facing persecution and as the country implodes, they still shared Jesus with so many. But, how?

Choosing 8

Choosing 8

I am blessed to have so many special people in my life. My sister (Sarah) and her husband (Anders) are two such people. At age 22, they might have been two of the least likely people you could have imagined to be where they are today: homeschool parents of eight kids. Both coming from families of four, Sarah was enrolled in medical school on the way to becoming a doctor. It seemed as likely they would hit the lottery than they would choose the path to become the family they have become. I had the opportunity to sit down with Sarah and Anders and listen to the story of how God led them to choose to have eight kids.

I hope as you read this you might consider where God is calling you and where he is asking you to trust him in your life right now. Where is he inviting you into deeper faith?

Tell me the story of how you two fell in love.

Anders (A): It all started at your (John’s) wedding. We had a lot of time to talk and have fun together. We clicked and deeper conversations were natural. I left that week feeling like Sarah was somebody I really wanted to get to know more. We emailed for six months until I graduated. Then, I moved out to Phoenix to be near you and Angel. I was shy and didn’t want to put any pressure on Sarah, but I wanted to be closer to her. We got to spend a lot of time together that summer and I got to know her really well.

Right before she went back to Stanford in the fall, we finally had our first date.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1.       Where Did Family Come From? Tim Challies begins, "We are at an interesting and perhaps unprecedented time in history when our understanding of family is being confronted and our definition of family is being rewritten." He begins his answer to that question.

2.       God Created Family to Carry Out His Will: Tim Challies says, " The family was always meant to be the core social unit in the world and everyone is meant to be part of one. All other structures build upon family."

3.       God Created Family to Picture His Truth: Tim Challies begins, " First, family pictures the Trinity. If you don’t understand family, you can’t understand God himself. Why? Because God reveals the first person of the Trinity as God the Father and the second person of the Trinity as God the Son."

4.       5 Questions to Ask When You Don't Get Anything of Your Pastor's Sermon: Have you ever sat bored stiff through your pastor's sermon? Maybe I have been the perpetrator. Daniel Darling offers five great remedies. They are all great questions. I love this one: "Am I hoping the sermon hits others rather than me?"

5.       The Faroe Islands Running Pastor: What an incredible place!  "Sometimes, when Sverri Steinholm is in the midst of a particularly difficult trail run, he wonders why he puts his body through these feats of endurance in the first place. ‘Why are you doing this stupid thing?’ he thinks to himself. ‘I’ll never do it again." But he always does. "I have to do it. My body needs it, or my soul, or my mind. It’s something almost magical.’"

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1.        3 Reasons Christians Cannot Commit the Unforgivable Sin: Michael Bird handles the question of whether Christians can commit the unforgivable sin. 

2.       America's Science-Denying, Antiquated Abortion Law: Ardee Coolidge with a strong opinion on America's abortion law, " [D]espite these amazing advancements in science, technology, and medicine, we lag behind the rest of the developed world in one very important area: our abortion laws. In fact, one key aspect of abortion in the United States is so outdated that only six other nations ON EARTH agree with our position (and one of those nations is the forward-thinking paradise of North Korea)."

3.       Do You Have a Child-Centered Home? This is a helpful questionnaire. 

4.       Don't Compliment by Comparing: Eric Geiger shares three reasons we shouldn't compare when we compliment and then concludes, "Compliment. Be liberal with encouragement. But work hard to offer compliments without comparisons. They are more effective and an indication of your maturing." 

5.       It Turns Out Sexual Liberation Isn't All That Liberating: David French concludes, " Faith and family aren’t guarantors of human flourishing (nothing is), but our nation certainly feels their absence, and our culture aches at their loss."

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1.      Most Teens Drop Out of Church When They Become Young Adults: There is a lot of important stuff in this recent study by Lifeway. Among the information uncovered is that, " Two-thirds (66 percent) of American young adults who attended a Protestant church regularly for at least a year as a teenager say they also dropped out for at least a year between the ages of 18 and 22." "The five most frequently chosen specific reasons for dropping out were: moving to college and no longer attending (34 percent); church members seeming judgmental or hypocritical (32 percent); no longer feeling connected to people in their church (29 percent); disagreeing with the church’s stance on political or social issues (25 percent); and work responsibilities (24 percent)."

2.      When Money Gets Between Family Members: This is perhaps one of the most pastoral responses I've ever read, and it's not only not written by a pastor, it's written in a secular forum. What an incredible model of speaking the truth in love.

3.      I Grew Up Hearing My Grandfather was a War Hero. Army Records Say Otherwise. Dan Chrisinger tells about his search to understand his cantankerous grandfather that ends with surprising insight: " The only truth I can feel certain of now is that Hod had once been a young man who went to war, and that he died an old man who never found a way to make peace with what he had experienced... he remained trapped alone in his cover story. In discovering this about my grandfather, I encountered the man on a more human level: a man who was damaged and hurting — and ultimately, I now feel more closeness and connection with that man than I could possibly have felt for an untarnished hero of the battle for Kakazu Ridge."

4.      Awe in the Ordinary: I love this invitation from Cassie Watson, "Over my holiday, I wanted the feeling of wonder to keep going on and on. The good news is that it can—and I don’t have to wait until my next holiday to experience it. The true object of my awe is with me all the time. I don’t need to recreate the circumstances of that sunset, but instead run back up those beams to the one who is truly worthy of adoration."

5.      Higher/Wiser: I like this song both musically and lyrically that is from a band that is new to me, The Silver Pages.