Why Doesn’t My Neighbor Go to Church?

Why Doesn’t My Neighbor Go to Church?

There was a time when going to church is what respectable people did. Church was a place not just of worship, but, for the worldly-minded, of upward mobility. My childhood was at the tail end of these days. When I was in sixth grade, our family became acquaintances with a businessman at church. My mom and dad ended up doing business with him only to be burned by his less-than-ethical business dealings. Church, it turned out, was just a handy place for him to expand his business.

Long gone are those days. And good riddance to them. I have no desire to have our society return to “the good old days” of church attendance done for the sake of appearances.

The Seat of the Scoffers

The Seat of the Scoffers

How loud are the voices of scoffers in your life? The mockers, the angry, the rude, the crass. How much ear do you give to those who tear you down rather than gently exhort or build you up?

Ours is the age of the scoffer. Hop on YouTube and type in anything remotely political and you’ll get a stream of scornful headlines:

  • Shapiro destroys feminist

  • Ocasio-Cortez slaps down Fox News

  • Jordan Peterson obliterates woke liberals

  • Whoopi Goldberg demands Meghan McCain stop talking

It’s not just YouTube. Briefly perusing popular shows over the past decade demonstrates just how harsh, dark, and biting our world is.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. How Naples reinvented the Catacombs of Rione Sanita into a must-see attraction: Wow! This is about as close as you can get to visiting the catacombs without being there.

  2. God knows I love you: Kyle Borg considers Jonah and a conversation with a fellow pastor. He asked his friend, “’Do you love pastoring your church?’ I knew that it was a searching question. I also knew that an honest answer wouldn’t come easily and could be very costly. He paused, and then said: ‘I imagine I feel about my congregation how Jonah felt about Nineveh.’”

  3. What is humility? Nick Thompson begins, “When asked in the early fifth century what three graces a minister needs most, Augustine didn’t think twice before responding, “Humilitas; humilitas; humilitas.” When it came to pastoral graces, the great African bishop awarded humility with gold, silver, and bronze medals.”

  4. The moment animals lock eyes with a photographer: Take a look at these photos! Oh, and you’ll want to click play on the very short videos as well.

  5. The five stages of Costco: I’m sure you don’t relate at all 

Trading Faces, How We Talk to Ourselves

Trading Faces, How We Talk to Ourselves

Modern science has confirmed the power of replacing negative self- talk with positive affirmations. Studies have shown that the practice of making daily affirmations decreases stress, increases the amount of time exercising, and may even lower the risk for cardiovascular disease.

When Angel and I read these studies, we were surprised by the verifiable impact of positive self-affirmations. But we also question the way positive affirmations are taught and used. Our culture tells us to replace negative self-talk with affirmations based not in our identities in Christ but in our aspirations.

Chasing the Rabbit

Chasing the Rabbit

Bob Buford tells a story about dog races in his book Finishing Well that rattled my heart when I first read it and continues to shake me:

“One of my favorite stories is about the dog races in Florida. They train these dogs to chase an electric rabbit, and one night the rabbit broke down and the dogs caught it. But they didn’t know what to do with it. They were just leaping around, yelping and biting one another, totally confused about what was happening. I think that’s a picture of what happens to all sorts of people who catch the rabbit in their life

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. The $40M bet that made South Korea a food and cultural power: Fun story about Gastrodiplomacy (it explains the explosion of Thai restaurants as well). “Gastrodiplomacy, a term first coined by The Economist in 2002, happens when governments try to increase the value and knowledge of their nation through food.”

  2. Daniel’s three tips for surviving the university of Babylon: Catie Robertson and Andrew Selby offer lots of wisdom in this article, “As young men, Daniel and his friends in Babylon studied alongside unbelieving peers to receive a rigorous secular education under a regime that demanded obedience. Daniel’s story can help believing college students not only survive but thrive in their own Babylons. Let’s consider his advice.”

Could God Do __?

Could God Do __?

“I don’t even know why we’re here. Nothing is going to change.” I’ve heard those words many times in counseling sessions. And I’ve felt those words from the empty eyes, the rigid shoulders, and the dropped heads of those I have counseled.

Who is it that you don’t believe can change? Your boss? Your employee? Your friend? Your son or daughter? Your spouse? Yourself?

Who have you given up on?

Be honest. You’ve probably given up on someone somewhere. You know what the theological term is for not having hope for someone? For giving up on them? Damning. That’s right. When you lose hope in someone you’re damning him.  

Strange Questions to Ask Your (future) Pastor

Strange Questions to Ask Your (future) Pastor

I hope you’ve considered why you’ve left your former church (I’ve written on the ten reasons to leave a church here).

 

You’ve already watched a service online, read the church’s doctrinal statement, and visited the church. What comes next?

 

“What does a church believe?” When Angel and I were first married and looking for a home church, I was laser-focused on the prospective churches’ theology and denomination. Those things matter. You will likely also ask, “How solid is the worship ministry?” And, if you have kids, you will definitely ask, “Is the children’s ministry biblically grounded, safe, and engaging?”

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. ·  Geopsychology: your personality depends on where you live: Take a look at where you live and have lived on this and see if it lines up. Agreeableness and conscientiousness stood out to me.

  2. ·  The professionals most likely to be paired up in marriage: Andrew Van Dam stuffs a lot more than you might think in this report. He begins, “The top spot goes to medical doctors, according to our analysis of responses to the Census Bureau’s American Community Survey over the past decade. Not-that-kind-of-doctors, also known as college professors, come in second.”

Trading Faces Identity Quiz

Trading Faces Identity Quiz

So, who are you? Many respond to that question by sharing their roles: “I am a mom.” “I am a dad.” “I am a sister.” “I am a wife.” “I am a husband.” “I am a lawyer.” “I am a teacher.” “I am an athlete.”

It’s not surprising that we answer the question this way. One of the first questions we ask children is “What do you want to be when you grow up?” It’s a fine question, but by asking it over and over again, we teach kids that they are what they do. We coach our children to substitute roles for true identities.