One of the many disappointing realities about the American political landscape is the lack of ownership. It’s not just politicians who shirk ownership – we all do. When my microphone sounds wonky, my mind immediately goes to the sound tech wondering if he will remedy his mistake, not to the more likely responsible party: myself. I probably moved the microphone or pulled the cord.
Of course we know that avoiding ownership usually backfires. Our esteem falls for those who dodge responsibility. But even still, the temptation to blame shift is strong in all of us.
“I am what I feel” sums up expressive individualism. Our culture frames identity around discovering what our deepest desires and longings are. To know our longings is to know ourselves.
In Billie Eilish’s 2023 song “What was I made for?” written for “Barbie,” Eilish reflects on the confusing journey to understand her feelings. It’s this journey, she assures herself that will lead to her happiness.
“The end is near!” “Repent!”
Have you ever seen a statement of prophetic warning spray-painted on a wall or in a subway station? got to be honest, I don’t take much notice to such warnings. But what if those warnings were for me and for you?
We are feeling all the feels. Our youngest, Soren, is about to graduate from high school. This has been a season of reflection for Angel and me and a season of preparation. In our children’s ministry hallways at New Life next to each age level we have containers that represent how many days of influence remain for you as a parent before your child launches. I recognize, of course, that there is no finish line for parenting, but one’s influence and role changes significantly in each season.
As we look back on our parenting, the most important things we taught our children were who God is and who they were.
Intrusive thoughts are unwelcome and hard to control. I can remember having intrusive thoughts from the time I was a child. When we drove, I often felt the compulsion to press one foot down on the floor between the telephone poles (and yes, I also hopped over the cracks in the sidewalk). At other times, when walking alone, I remember the persistent thought, “He’s watching you.” I would search the bushes and trees for the one my mind told me was watching me.
There is no topic we love discussing more than ourselves. The self-discovery industry has never had more pull than it does in the contemporary West.
Christians might be tempted to push back on all of the obsession of self-discovery and reject it as ungodly. John Calvin, the 16th-century French Reformer, would disagree with this assessment. In the first chapter of Calvin’s Institutes, the Reformed theologian makes a point about self-understanding and our relationship that might surprise you.
So, who are you? Many respond to that question by sharing their roles: “I am a mom.” “I am a dad.” “I am a sister.” “I am a wife.” “I am a husband.” “I am a lawyer.” “I am a teacher.” “I am an athlete.”
It’s not surprising that we answer the question this way. One of the first questions we ask children is “What do you want to be when you grow up?” It’s a fine question, but by asking it over and over again, we teach kids that they are what they do. We coach our children to substitute roles for true identities.
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