One of the many disappointing realities about the American political landscape is the lack of ownership. It’s not just politicians who shirk ownership – we all do. When my microphone sounds wonky, my mind immediately goes to the sound tech wondering if he will remedy his mistake, not to the more likely responsible party: myself. I probably moved the microphone or pulled the cord.
Of course we know that avoiding ownership usually backfires. Our esteem falls for those who dodge responsibility. But even still, the temptation to blame shift is strong in all of us.
“I am what I feel” sums up expressive individualism. Our culture frames identity around discovering what our deepest desires and longings are. To know our longings is to know ourselves.
In Billie Eilish’s 2023 song “What was I made for?” written for “Barbie,” Eilish reflects on the confusing journey to understand her feelings. It’s this journey, she assures herself that will lead to her happiness.
“The end is near!” “Repent!”
Have you ever seen a statement of prophetic warning spray-painted on a wall or in a subway station? got to be honest, I don’t take much notice to such warnings. But what if those warnings were for me and for you?
We are feeling all the feels. Our youngest, Soren, is about to graduate from high school. This has been a season of reflection for Angel and me and a season of preparation. In our children’s ministry hallways at New Life next to each age level we have containers that represent how many days of influence remain for you as a parent before your child launches. I recognize, of course, that there is no finish line for parenting, but one’s influence and role changes significantly in each season.
As we look back on our parenting, the most important things we taught our children were who God is and who they were.
Intrusive thoughts are unwelcome and hard to control. I can remember having intrusive thoughts from the time I was a child. When we drove, I often felt the compulsion to press one foot down on the floor between the telephone poles (and yes, I also hopped over the cracks in the sidewalk). At other times, when walking alone, I remember the persistent thought, “He’s watching you.” I would search the bushes and trees for the one my mind told me was watching me.
On the precipice of empty-nesting (we have a nineteen-year-old and a seventeen-year-old in our house), I’ve been reflecting a bit about what has worked and what hasn’t worked as I have tried to lead our family spiritually.
I have had my share of failures as a spiritual leader of our family. By God’s grace, our kids are faithfully following Christ. Their vibrant spiritual lives are a mercy of God’s grace, not a product of Angel and my strategy or hard work.
Should Christian Parents Send Their Children to Public Schools: I’ve appreciated all of these debates and this one between Jen Wilkin and Jonathan Pennington demonstrates humility, grace, and understanding.
The Safest Place: Andrea Seaborn with an invitation, “When we live in His presence rather than imagining ourselves under His thumb, possibilities tumble in—frightening, exhilarating, wonder-filled or painful, but meaningful. Purposeful. Real.”
Be Slow to Pull the ‘God’ Card: Will Anderson says, “When the conversation turns from concrete biblical revelation to promptings, senses, urges, spontaneous thoughts, and claims of “God told me so,” it can feel squishy and prone to abuse.”
Telling the Truth: Brenda Pauken directs this to counselors, but the importance of learning to dig to be honest with oneself is important for all of us, “Many of us tell ourselves untrue things that make us feel better in the moment but don’t serve us well in the long run. Consider, “Yes, that was hard, but I’m fine,” or “It wasn’t a big deal.” These statements, along with “I had a happy childhood,” prevent us from facing the reality of our lives and hearts.” The second part of this piece is also well worth reading.
World Nature Photography Awards: Wow! That croc eye! And check out that Preying Mantis taking down a lizard.
Angel Mateo was 17 months old when he entered our lives. We were his first non-family placement, but his fourth placement in four months. He had been shipped from one family member to another until none were left. We expected a traumatized child to arrive at our front door. But Angel Mateo had almost no signs of trauma. He slept like a rock, met every strange new face with poise, and greeted every ball he saw with an enthusiastic “BALL!” as though it was the first time he had encountered this spherical admixture of magic and fun. Joy exuded through every pore of this boy.
We fell in love.
Our son Soren is seventeen years old. And he doesn’t know how to ride his bike. I share this as a confession. Soren is more comfortable with this fact than I am. As parents, we feel responsible for equipping our kids for the world. But what does it mean to prepare our children for life? What does it mean to be a successful parent? When you think of it, the demands are overwhelming, isn’t it?
On the Changing of the Dictionaries: Tim Challies begins, “There is something morbidly fascinating about watching dictionaries slowly but surely change their definitions of common words. It raises some questions, not the least of which strike to the very purpose of a dictionary.”
I Can’t Put Them Down Yet: Brianna Lambert with a sweet reflection on mothering. She concludes, “So I’m going to keep picking up my six-year-old. Together we’ll continue to sing songs to the faithful God who will never put us down.”
Reconstructing Faith: Christianity in a New World: Tim Keller is nuanced as always in this piece on deconstruction, “For many the Christian faith they grew up with or held for many years no longer feels credible to them. They are rethinking the whole thing.”
Deepening Your Friendship in Marriage: Sheryl Jacob with a helpful piece on the ways our focus in marriage can be easily shifted off course, “Many relationships start by knowing each other well enough to agree they can tolerate each other’s quirks and odd mannerisms. But somewhere along the line, the demands of daily life take over.”
Against Autonomy: TM Suffield with strong words for the choice we often make, “We want the benefits of a marriage without the covenant. In essence we’ve swapped the grandest story ever told—the truly breath-takingly epic love story that is patterned in the atoms of the world—and swapped it for a tawdry little tale about a string of destructive and demeaning one-night stands. By replacing Jesus’ position as rightful ruler of the cosmos with ourselves as the rightful ruler of our tiny worlds—and make no mistake, friends, that’s what we’ve done—we’ve removed what made those goods good. We’ve marred what made the beauty we had beautiful. We’ve made the truth into a lie.”
“Well Done,” Says God to Man Who Spent Life Arguing in YouTube Comments Section: Babylon Bee skewers the culture warrior with a wink.
The Most Dangerous Type of Parenting: Aaron Earls explains, “Reputation parenting is primarily concerned with the spiritual reputation of the parent. We do what we do as a parent with the goal of having others see us as a respectable Christian parent.”
Why Do Christians Make Such a Big Deal About Sex? Rebecca McLaughlin responds, “Whenever people ask me why Christians are so weird about sex, I first point out that we’re weirder than they think. The fundamental reason why Christians believe that sex belongs only in the permanent bond of male-female marriage is because of the metaphor of Jesus’s love for his church.”
What does “the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective” mean? Kevin Halloran asks, “But what exactly does this phrase from James mean? Does it mean that we will receive everything we pray for, or that holiness strengthens our prayers?”
My Broken Engagement: Olivia Davis begins, “Has God forgotten me? No, my heart said. But it wasn’t a statement of faith. It was a cry of sorrow: I wish that he had. Because if he had forgotten me, it would mean that he didn’t know about my broken engagement, that he wasn’t an indifferent observer watching me sprawled out on my living room rug like a dead spider, sobbing until I had to run to the bathroom and vomit.”
Does Jesus Still Sympathize with Sinners? Mark Jones with a rich reflection concludes, “we can rejoice that his compassion to us is not mere sentiment, but a powerful compassion whereby he can supply us with his grace in our times of need, just as the Father supplied Christ with the Spirit in his time of need.”
Our girl arrived home for Christmas last night. Everything feels better when we are all together. Camille headed off to college in Southern California this fall, and we have felt her absence. We missed her laugh, her hugs, and her quiet presence in the house, crafting on a quiet Sunday afternoon. But now she’s home! My heart swells to be able to squeeze her, to wake her up with a kiss on the forehead, to listen to her laugh at my dad jokes. Even in an era where we have technology like Facetime, there is nothing like being face-to-face. I feel joy to worship with her this Christmas Eve and look forward to having our family whole, enjoying cinnamon rolls and coffee in our pajamas on Christmas day, unwrapping one another’s gifts, and squeezing each other in thanks.
God concurs.
Welcoming the World’s Oldest Babies: Sarah Eekhoff Zylstra shares a moving story of embryo adoption and the consequences of modern technology and fertility, “Nearly 30 years ago, Lydia Ann and Timothy Ronald were conceived in a fertility clinic. Hours later, they were frozen.”
Come Thou Long Expected Judgment: Jonathan Warren Pagan reminds us to look forward, not just backward this Advent season. Advent hope is preeminently about hope for the return of Jesus. Even now, in the Advent liturgies of the Anglican, Roman Catholic, and Orthodox churches, the prayers and Scripture readings have a laser-like focus on the judgment of Christ that is to come. This message doesn’t align with the affected excitement and coziness of secular Advent or Christmas.”
Social Anxiety and the God Who Held Mary: Lara d’Entremont always has great stuff. Here she shares about her social anxiety and Christmas. She shares, “God must have rows of my bottled tears by now—tears that I shed over my anxiety where I begged him to take it all away. Yet the anxiety remains. I don’t understand why, and in those moments of looking at my life and wondering why God’s hand has not lifted the anxiety from me, doubt has snaked around my heart. Where is God’s love? Why has he abandoned me?”
Christianity Today’s Playlist: Some nice gems here.
The Gospel Coalition 2022 Book Awards: Lots of good stuff here.
How much would you pay to meet your favorite celebrity? $100? $1,000?? $10,000??? The number isn’t insignificant, is it? Listening to the stories and wisdom from those we trust is worth quite a bit, isn’t it?
This year Angel and I worked hard to bring our first co-written book entitled Substitute Identities to publication. Right now it is in the hands of our publisher’s copy editor, and we can’t wait to share it with you. The process of pouring our hearts into this book makes me reflect on just what gifts books are. While we might be willing to pay exorbitant sums to sit at the feet of the world’s best thinkers, it only takes $10-$20 to listen to these spinners of tales. Isn’t that amazing?
So, however many books you read in 2022, maybe you might be blessed to read a few more in 2023, and perhaps some of my favorites might point you to a few gems.
In 2022 so far, I’ve read 110 books and hope to read a handful more before the year closes. I’ve been blessed to read a wide variety of good books this year. I’ll begin with my four favorite books of 2022, followed by the entire list of books I read. I hope you find some gems for you in this.
1. Decline of Christianity Shows No Sign of Stopping: Daniel Silliman reports, “Currently, 64 percent of people say they are Christian, but nearly a third of those raised Christian eventually switch to “none” or “nothing in particular,” while only about 20 percent of those raised without religion become Christian. If that ratio of switching continues at a steady pace, then in roughly half a century, only about 46 percent of Americans will identify as Christian.”
2. Who are the 144,000 in Revelation 7? Tom Schreiner answers. “Here we have the number twelve representing the people of God from the twelve tribes in the OT, and the number is squared and then multiplied by 1,000. Hence the number should be understood as a symbolic way of designating the entire people of God.”
3. Five Truths About Suicide and the Church: Kathryn Butler reports, “As stewards of the greatest message of hope in history, churches are uniquely positioned to minister to those grappling with thoughts of self-harm. However, leaders can struggle with knowing how to help and may worry their words or approach will only bring more anguish.”
4. Say the Quiet Things, Out Loud: Kristin encourages us to not withhold encouragement. “Our children, regardless of their age, are not our parents. We are theirs–so let us be about the business of seeking and loving them well–unselfishly with our time, full gaze, and devoted words.”
5. Getting America’s Most Famous (or Infamous) Sermon Right: Travis Hearne sets right the many who have a distorted understanding of an infamous sermon. He begins, “In the Summer of 1741, Jonathan Edwards preached Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God—the most famous or infamous sermon to land on what would soon be American soil.”
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