Fear, Parenting, Family
John Beeson
The Trap of Fear-Based Parenting

She was one day old with the brightest, bluest eyes, a bald head, and the cutest little ears that stuck nearly perpendicular out of her head.

We checked out at the hospital's front desk and walked to our car with our baby girl in the car seat. As the safety officer checked out the security of our car seat base, a wave of fear came over me. Why would they let us take this beautiful baby home?

To be a parent is to experience fear. Will they be safe? Will they be bullied? Will they make friends? Will they like me? Will they survive a sexually confused world?

The Trap of Fear-Based Parenting
Recommendations, Christian Living, Church, Religion
John Beeson
This Week's Recommendations

  1. When bitterness becomes your religion, healing becomes heresy: Christopher Cook says, “But here’s the fruit of that belief system: the most anxious, entitled, bitter, and emotionally fragile generation in history. The world is not freer. It is more fractured. The culture of curated authenticity has not led us to peace, but to exhaustion.”

  2. Mortifying our desire: Keith Evans begins, “A young man once told me, “I never chose to feel this way. These attractions seem to have always been part of my life.” His honesty captures what so many experience—same-sex attraction often feels unchosen, even natural. But when we look to Scripture, we discover even that which may feel natural is not always good.”

This Week's Recommendations
Biblical Studies, Family, Suffering
John Beeson
Yesterday's Promise Might Be Today's Curse

Where would the bread come from?

Jacob heard his grandchildren’s whimpers as they rustled in the neighboring tents. He knew tears were running down their faces as their tiny empty bellies cried out.

Where would the next meal come from? The drought had devastated the crop.
Travelers from the North had spent the night. They carried bags of grain and shared news that the Pharaoh had storehouses of grain. They had met with his right-hand man, Zaphenath-paneah.

Seven years earlier, the Pharaoh was troubled. He couldn’t shake the nightmares. Skinny cows devouring fat cows, thin stalks of grain consuming fat stalks.

Yesterday's Promise Might Be Today's Curse
Christian Living, Gratitude, Relationships, Wisdom
John Beeson
Wanderlust and the Christian Life

“Oh the places you’ll go!” Dr. Seuss believed that the true achiever is an adventurer: “You’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air. Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.”

“We’re taking a vision trip to Florida,” our friends shared. Tired of the heat of the Sonoran Desert, they set out to find the perfect place for their family to settle. I’ve been part of several similar conversations. It’s healthy for couples to dream together. I’ve seen God weave those dreams into something that honors him and blesses others.

Wanderlust and the Christian Life
Recommendations, Family, Identity, Parenting, Relationships
John Beeson
This Week's Recommendations

  1. I’ve studied over 200 kids—here are six magic phrases that make kids listen to their parents: Good things to tell people, not just your kids. Reem Raouda says, “Parents are constantly searching for ways to get their kids to listen. But a lot of us focus too much on trying to get them to obey in the moment, rather than building genuine long-term cooperation.”

  2. Seven lies about our love lives: Eric Geiger shares, “’It’s just between us’: The world, especially in the West, paints relationships as just between the two people.

This Week's Recommendations

Evangelism

, ,

Jonah the Anti-Hero

, ,
Jonah the Anti-Hero

The anti-hero is the new hero. Walter White, the mild-mannered chemistry teacher turned drug kingpin in Breaking Bad, pulled you in as he ascended the heights of the underground world. Don Draper had you rooting for him during his self-destructive descent over the course of Mad Men’s seven seasons. JK Rowling’s pen had readers’ jaws drop to learn that the villain Severus Snape had more to him. And, of course, which lover of The Godfather couldn’t help but root for the complicated Michael Corleone? But the first anti-hero came long before White, Draper, Snape, and Corleone.

Jonah was Walter White before Walter White was Walter White. And yet that’s not how most of us learn the story as children. Jonah is the hero of most children’s Bibles. I still remember hearing the sanitized story of Jonah as a kid. Jonah runs from God, experiences a conversion in the belly of the whale[i], and with newfound fervor converts the metropolis of Nineveh. The end.

The problem with that telling is that the book doesn’t end there at all.

, , ,

How do You Pray for Someone Who is Hurting?

, , ,
How do You Pray for Someone Who is Hurting?

“How are you?” you greet your neighbor at the park. You ask the question like you mean it.

“Okay,” she responds. But the crease between her eyebrows and the slump of her shoulders lets you know that she is most definitely not “okay.”

“What’s the matter?” you ask, lovingly responding to her body language instead of her words.

She begins to open up. She and her husband got in a fight last night. Tears begin to flow. She’s worried about her mom’s health. She’s anxious about work. The conversation winds to a close. You would like to pray for her, but how do you cross that bridge? How do you pray for someone in need?

Perhaps the only thing stronger than our natural impulse toward the spiritual and religious is our reticence toward public displays of our religion. Last week we talked about five reasons we ought to press through our discomfort to pray for those in need. Those reasons were:

, ,

So Much More Than “Sending Good Thoughts”

, ,
So Much More Than “Sending Good Thoughts”

Your co-worker has just shared with you that her husband was just diagnosed with cancer. You press in and provide a listening ear. But as the conversation closes, what do you say? Nothing? That you will pray for her family? Or do you ask if you could pray with her right then?

I’ve done all three, and there are circumstances where all three are wise and godly responses. But usually praying for a friend with a request then and there is the best response. There have been far too many times when I have not prayed with someone who needed prayer or told them I would pray for them later when the most loving thing I should have done for them was to pray with them right there.

Offering to pray for someone in the moment can feel awkward. Your mind races: do they even believe in God? What god do they believe in? Are they going to be offended if I ask?

Why is it worth the risk to pray for someone in need? And how do you do it?

When we pray for someone, we demonstrate Christianity is so much more than mere platitudes.

One of the most frequent responses I’ve observed on Facebook from unbelievers when encountering difficult situations with others is their promise to “send good thoughts.” The statement itself concedes that it is nothing more than a platitude. What does it look like to “send good thoughts”? Will the one who promises to send them follow through? What happens when those “good thoughts” are sent? Will they have any impact? On all counts: no, and assuredly not. When we say “I’ll pray for you” for many non-Christians, they hear a promise as empty as “sending good thoughts.” By actually praying with them then and there, you are demonstrating that you are not just offering a sentiment, not just dropping an empty platitude, but you will follow through.

When we pray for someone, we demonstrate we have really heard our friend.

Praying out loud with your friend shows that you have really heard them. As you ask God to intervene in the situation and you echo back specifics they mentioned and reflect to God emotions they may not have even stated out loud, your friend can hear your attention to them.

, , , , ,

This Week's Recommendations

, , , , ,
This Week's Recommendations

1. How to Meet God at Your Lowest Point: Jane Marczewski guest posts over on Ann Voskamp’s blog. She has cancer and has been given only a 2% chance of survival. Jane recently auditioned on America’s Got Talent and received the golden buzzer. You’ll want to read her post and then watch her memorable performance. She writes, “I have heard it said that some people can’t see God because they won’t look low enough, and it’s true. Look lower.”

2. Not this Man, but Barabbas! Keith Mathison nails it here, “I hear and read Christians almost every day saying that their biggest concern is the direction in which the United States is headed. Or they are most concerned about the collapse of Western civilization. Granted, many people are concerned about these things because of their love for their children or grandchildren… The problem occurs when our main concern is fundamentally a political concern.”

3. 5 Cultural Shifts We Need to Know to Reach Our Neighbors: Mark Clark begins with this truth, “The highest good is now individual freedom and happiness.” All five are helpful in considering how to reach our neighbors with the gospel.

4. Romanticizing Death: A fellow Tucson pastor, Rod Hugen reminds us that to understand the power of Jesus conquering death we must come face to face with the ugliness of death. He concludes, “I live in the time when death is still the enemy, but with the sure knowledge that death is defeated and will one day be no more. It is an exhilarating time, freeing me to seize life and to take joy in the journey, knowing that Christ’s resurrection is a reality. Death defeated is far superior to death romanticized.”

5. PT Barnum’s 10 Most Famous Human “Freak” Show Attractions: If you’ve seen The Greatest Showman you’ll appreciate how this video humanizes the various people that Barnum promoted (and often exploited) in his show.

, , , , ,

This Week's Recommendations

, , , , ,
This Week's Recommendations

1. Most Americans Embrace Spirituality and Religion, Even Atheists: Also of note is the large gap between spirituality and religion. Aaron Earls reports, “Yet even among the quarter of Americans who do not identify with a religion (atheists, agnostics, and those who say they are “nothing in particular”), most still describe themselves as a spiritual person.”

2. Characteristics of Churches That Keep Young Adults: This is a great addition to the two posts I recently wrote on raising teens to love the church. Aaron Earls begins with the importance of sincerity. He says, “When teenagers see church members as insincere, they are more likely to drop out. Relatively few young adults say the church they attended as a teenager was insincere, but dropouts say this more often.”

3. One of the Ugliest Sights in the World: Tim Challies begins with a scene we’ve all witnessed, “One of the ugliest sights in the world is that of a child who rules over his parents. We have all seen it, I’m sure. We have seen parents who tiptoe around their child’s cries, their child’s demands, their child’s outbursts of anger. They will do whatever he dictates, give whatever he commands. We look on with horror, knowing they have set their child on a path to destruction.”

4. Brothers, We Should Stink: Thabiti Anyabwile explains that godly pastors live among the sheep. He says, “Do you know how to tell the difference between sheep and wolves in sheep’s clothing? Sheep eat grass; wolves eat sheep — it doesn't matter how prettily they are dressed.”

5. What is Christianity? This is a simple and clear three-minute visual presentation of the gospel.

, , , ,

This Week's Recommendations

, , , ,
This Week's Recommendations

1. Everything is Broken: Alana Newhouse considers why “flatness” and “frictionless” created a broken culture. You’ll have to stick with her and she puts the pieces together, but the payoff is worth it. She opines, “So, instead of reflecting the diversity of a large country, these institutions have now been repurposed as instruments to instill and enforce the narrow and rigid agenda of one cohort of people, forbidding exploration or deviation—a regime that has ironically left homeless many, if not most, of the country’s best thinkers and creators.”

2. 5 Ways Judgmental Christians are Killing Your Church: Carey Niewhof on just how serious an issue judgmentalism is, and how to foster the opposite. He shares, “Humility, by contrast, fosters empathy. It says ‘I’m like you. I get that. Maybe we can help each other.’ Many people would run to that.”

3. The Onliest Way: Glenna Marshall considers the challenge of telling the good news and the pressing reality of Jesus, “the onliest way.”

4. Homecoming: You’ll want to read this lovely reflection on adoption.

5. Understanding Why Jesus isn’t Praying to Himself: Helpful video from Red Pen Logic explaining the “who’s” and the “what’s” of the Trinity.

, ,

What Spooks You?

, ,
What Spooks You?

Across the street from our new home is the holiday house. You probably have one in your neighborhood. They go all out for every holiday. On Saturday, cars stacked up on the main road leading into the neighborhood as families drove by slowly, taking in the massive display that must have cost the owners thousands of dollars.

Last week I drove by a home whose Halloween decorations weren’t nearly as massive or ostentatious, but the lawn display was certainly the eeriest I’ve ever seen. A life-like severed head hung from a tree limb. A decapitated corpse with a visible spinal cord jutting out between slumped shoulders sat underneath. Swaying gently on a swing in a nearby tree was a ghoulish young lady. The scene spooked me, but I couldn’t look away.

Horror movies have increased in popularity in the past few decades. People love watching scary movies. Horror movies are well known to have one of the best rates of return for investors. Our culture can’t seem to get enough scary. In our dopamine-addicted world, horror movies offer some of the biggest dopamine hits out there. They toy with our anxieties and spin out our fears.

Surprisingly, Jesus wasn’t averse to utilizing the power of spook in his ministry.

The difference is, Jesus doesn’t spin fictional fears to create a reaction. Jesus, rather, points his audience to what they truly ought to be afraid of: not imagined fears, but fears that will come to pass.

, , , , , ,

This Week's Recommendations

, , , , , ,
This Week's Recommendations

1. The Most Important Election in US History: Keith Mathison gives us some helpful perspective. He begins with this quote, “We have had many important elections, but never one so important as that now approaching…. The republic is approaching what is to be one of the most important elections in its history.”

2. The Answer to Loneliness: Andrew Blunt begins, “Loneliness is a serious and growing problem. The stats are pretty heartbreaking. One study found that 9 million people in the UK are always or often lonely—that’s just slightly more than the population of London or the entire population of Australia.”

3. 3 Apologetic Approaches to Reach the Next Generation: Jacob Haywood sums up his three approaches this way, “The next generation should see that the gospel applies to their lives, answers their biggest questions, and fulfills their deepest longings.”

4. How Big Should You Think? And How Big Should You Act? I appreciate the way Eric Geiger considers this. He begins, “Some leaders seem to think small and act big. There is not a large vision that captivates them, grand plans that motivate them, or an overwhelming sense of awe for the opportunity in front of them. Yet at the same time they seem to act big. They hold tightly to their positions, enjoying that others view them as and and that they are able to make decisions that impact others. Their plans may be small, but they act large.”

5. The Science of Male and Female: What does God teach us about gender through nature? Steven Wedgeworth begins, “Recent breakthroughs in human genetics have made it clear that humanity is fundamentally dimorphic, which is to say, human nature is irreducibly male and female.”

, , , , ,

This Week's Recommendations

, , , , ,
This Week's Recommendations

1. You are What You Sweep: Andrew Wilson with an insightful post on the power that we are made from dust. "The language of dust also highlights our supernatural, God-breathed origins. In some of the Egyptian and Akkadian creation stories, humans are described as being made out of clay, which you can kind of imagine. Most of us, with a bit of practice, could form clay into something resembling a person. But you could never do that with dust. The most complex shape I could make out of dust would be a pile, and even then a gust of wind would instantly scatter it."

2. 6 Steps to Become an Effective Witness for Jesus: Ashley Unzicker’s post is both simple and profound. She says, “A common theory is more training is necessary to help boost our evangelistic efforts. Is the problem in our techniques? Maybe. Could it be simpler than that? I think so.”

3. 5 Things People Blame the Church for...but Shouldn't: Carey Niewhof begins with the fact that, "The church didn't stop you from growing spiritually." And he finishes his list with, "The church didn't make you lose your faith."

4. Never Read a Bible Verse: Tim Challies begins provocatively, "Greg Koukl often passes along a cheeky little tip related to reading and understanding the Bible. 'If there was one bit of wisdom, one rule of thumb, one single skill I could impart, one useful tip I could leave that would serve you well the rest of your life, what would it be? What is the single most important practical skill I’ve ever learned as a Christian? Here it is: Never read a Bible verse.'" He goes on to explain why that doesn't mean what you think.

5. What's Your Treasure? Three Questions to Ask Yourself: Cindy Matson's article certainly convicted me. Maybe it will help you uproot some sin in your heart. She shares, "God designed us to be active worshipers, and treasure is simply shorthand for the object of our worship. Since our hearts are always actively worshiping something, they’re not neutral; nor do they accidentally stumble into worship. They choose it."

, , ,

God Loves You and Your Neighbor

, , ,
God Loves You and Your Neighbor

“Won’t you be my neighbor?”

Those famous words were earnestly sung by Mister Rogers on every one of the 895 episodes of his show. Have you ever stopped to consider how profound Mister Rogers’s question is? How many people would you ask to be your neighbor? The circle is probably pretty small, I bet. How many people do you know that you would want to live next to you? Before you throw out a number, remember what being their neighbor will entail. They will expect you to do dinners together, have game nights, and of course you will be the first person they will call for that emergency babysitting need.

Rogers invites us to come near so that he can treat us as his neighbor. And he means it. This is unnatural.

WHO IS MY NEIGHBOR?

Two thousand years ago a lawyer engaged Jesus in conversation. “Teacher,” he asks Jesus, “what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” (Luke 10:25).

Jesus asks him to answer the question. He complies, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself” (Luke 10:27). Jesus tells him it’s a good answer.

The lawyer isn’t comfortable with just how wide the net of neighbor might be.

Sign up to get The Bee Hive delivered to your inbox and receive a free 50 Books That Changed My Life (and Might Change Yours, Too) download!