A Pillar of Salt: TM Suffield warns us of nostalgia during Christmas season, “Advent tells me that my idea of Christmas is manufactured nostalgia, a good portion of which is created by people who want to sell me things. They don’t want me to be satisfied, or to learn to wait, or to wrestle the darkness—they want me just the right sort of sad to buy more things.”
The Middle Years: Melissa Edgington begins her reflection on mid-life, “These days I feel a little as if I’m grieving for a younger me. I look in the mirror, and I contend with the greying hair and the imperfections that come with age, always shocked to remember that my neckline sags in the way of grandmothers and old great aunts. I have come to middle age, and I must say that it’s a difficult stop on this journey of being a woman.”
7 in 10 Women Who Have Had an Abortion Identify as Christian: This is an eye-opening report that ought to remind us that we need to care not just for the unborn, but for those who have to navigate the tragic decision of abortion. We need to be vulnerable places of care and support. The findings state, “For half of those regular churchgoers (52%), they still haven’t told anyone at their church about their abortion. Less than 2 in 5 (38%) say someone at their church knows they had an abortion. Women likely haven’t told people at their church because most don’t see the church or the people there as safe and feel they will be judged, not loved.”
Our Dog’s Annual Performance Review: Caroline O’Donoghue’s article had me cracking up. “You are a terrible employee. But you’re a very, very good girl.”
Sexual Abuse, Sexual Brokenness, and the Gospel: Preston Sprinkle interviews Jay Stringer on his podcast “Theology in the Raw.” Stringer shares his findings in his book Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing. The book shares significant research that reveals the key drivers of unwanted sexual behavior: from pornography to infidelity.
Thanksgiving Recommendations
1. A Christian Case for Bitcoin: A nuanced and thoughtful consideration of a timely issue. The authors encourage us, “While crypto is in its early days, now is the time for Christians to carefully explore and experiment with the possibilities, for the advance of the gospel, for the good of others, and for the glory of God. We are convinced that Christians will all soon agree that crypto is not a curse to be feared, but a blessing to rejoice in, fully under the control of the One who has overcome the world.”
2. The Pastors Aren’t All Right: Kate Shellnutt at Christianity Today reports that 38% of pastors are considering leaving ministry. That is up from 29% in January. Underlying this is this: “Back in 2016, 85 percent of pastors rated their mental wellbeing as good or excellent, according to a previous Barna poll. In the October 2021 poll, it was down to 60 percent.” Please pray for your pastor.
3. What if Thoughts Can Be Evil? Pierce Taylor Hibbs with a heavy hitting piece on our thoughts and the existence of evil. He says, “But what makes me nervous, what would have Screwtape and his nephew smiling, is the fact that we assume thoughts are neutral, that there’s no way they could be evil, that demons and the forces of Satan are pre-modern myths. When we go to that extreme, we let evil operate unchecked. We don’t ask for the Spirit’s help in giving us the mind of Christ (1 Cor. 2:16) because we actually believe our thinking isn’t susceptible to evil influence.”
4. Characteristics of a Hardened Heart: Is your heart hard? Sacha Alexandre Mendes explains how we can discern whether a heart is hardened toward God. Consider that, “A Hardened Heart Does Not Recognize the “Finger of God” (Ex. 8:19). Even the Egyptian magicians recognized the “finger of God.” Something was different. A person with a hardened heart does not recognize the spiritual realities around him. A hard-hearted person cannot see how God is working in their situation, even though close family, relatives, and friends tell him so.”
5. How to be Less Thankful: This backward approach to gratitude is simple and profound. “If you’ve had enough of the thanksgiving police bullying you into a humble posture, this article is for you. Read on for some tried and true methods for growing in thanklessness.”
6. Flying With Birds: Where do I sign up???
4 Questions to Ask When You Shop for a Church
After Angel and I were married, we moved to Phoenix, a town new to both of us. We began a several-month-long journey of finding a church that would be repeated again in two-and-a-half years when we moved to New Jersey. I have vivid memories of both church shopping experiences: of the sweet little Anglican church in Phoenix where we were the youngest in attendance by at least four decades and mobbed afterward by kindly congregants who begged us to stay for coffee and cookies; of the 1,000 square foot church on the Jersey shore where our friends and we doubled the size of the congregation and the accompaniment was played by means of a 1980s style boom box which the pastor turned around to push the button at the beginning and end of every song.
It wasn’t long ago that the idea of having more than one church in your lifetime would have been completely foreign. Virtually the entire world died where they were born and rarely left their hometown.[i] In contrast, the average US citizen today is expected to move 11.4 times in his or her lifetime.[ii] Even if you never leave a church for another reason, you will most likely look for a church roughly a dozen times in your life.
Shopping Well
No one likes to church shop.[iii] I certainly hope you don’t enjoy church shopping. Church shopping is a dangerous activity. By its very nature, it places the shopper in the position of being an observer and a critic and not a participant and member. The faster you can shift from critic to member, the healthier it will be for you spiritually and the healthier it will be for the body of Christ.
And yet, sometimes it is necessary. When you look for a church, here are four questions you should ask.
6 Things You Should Do Before You Leave Your Church
So, you’ve decided to leave your church: you’re moving, or you’ve come to a doctrinal impasse, or there has been conflict that you’ve tried to navigate, but the church has been unwilling to biblically walk through a peacemaking process to bring about reconciliation.
As a pastor, every person who leaves the church hurts. As a pastor of ten years, there have been hundreds that have left the churches I’ve served at and I can only think of a very small handful that I was glad to see go. Every goodbye is painful.
But, as we discussed last week, there are times to say goodbye (although a lot fewer than we are encultured to believe). When you say goodbye, say goodbye well. Sadly, in today’s culture, most of us say goodbye very poorly (usually by not saying goodbye at all, just slipping away). We’re called to say goodbye in a harder, but better, way.
10 Reasons Why You Might Leave Your Church
It’s that time of year, when transitions happen: seasons close and new seasons begin. Maybe you’re a student who just headed off to college. Maybe you got a new job. Maybe your employer transitioned you. Those are some of the many natural reasons that you might have just left or might be leaving your church in the coming weeks.
Maybe you’ve left or are planning on leaving your church for entirely different reasons, though. Maybe your pastor is in a rut. Maybe the worship grates on you. Maybe you feel like you just don’t know anyone there any longer. Maybe you were injured by someone at the church and you tense up at the awkwardness of returning. Maybe you feel like you’re not getting spiritually fed there any longer. Maybe you are frustrated with how your church has handled Covid-19.
In this four-part series we will explore appropriate reasons for leaving a church, how to leave a church, how to choose a church, and how to join a church.
Let’s explore some of the most common reasons[i] people leave the church and reflect whether they are appropriate or not.
1) I feel disconnected
“The church doesn’t feel like home any longer. My friends have left and I feel like I’m at someone else’s church when I arrive.”
It’s not appropriate to leave: losing friends is hard, but we shouldn’t leave a church because our friends have left. Part of the joy of the church is that God brings together strangers into community. Do the hard work of starting a new small group or serving in a new ministry and God will surely bring about new relationships.
This Week’s Recommendations
The Liturgy of Social Media: This post is similar to my recent series on consumerism. In it TM Suffield shares ways the messages social media subtly shapes us with. He begins with this, “1. The instant is important: New matters. Whatever is newest matters most. Breaking news, new status updates from friends, this week’s bruhaha on the bird site.”
A Letter from a Teenage Anti-Christian Skeptic: Randy Newman’s post highlights a surprising skeptic. God really is amazing, isn’t he?
4 Types of Itching Ears: Eric Geiger explains the difference between theological, lifestyle, ethical, and political itching ears. He says what makes them similar is this: “With all the itching ears, the starting point is the error. Instead of beginning with the Scripture, the person begins ‘with what they want to hear.’ Itching ears are never sanctified ears because instead of being conformed by teaching they curate teaching “for what they want to hear.”
God Scares Me to Death: Ed Welch considers why speaking aloud the frightening truths of our hearts is beneficial. He concludes, “Your soul is close to the breaking point already. The one who now strikes fear in your heart is the only one who can assuage your fears and mend a soul in pieces.”
Pride in the Name of Love: Jared Wilson on just how deep the disease of selfishness goes. “The Christian message begins with the stark realization that we are not the center of the universe. Like Leo in Titanic, we stand at the bow, spreading our arms to span the horizon, not realizing we’re headed for disaster. We proclaim, ‘I’m the king of the world!’ And then the ship sinks.”
Signaling Our Consumption
I still remember how aghast my dad was when the Nike Swoosh became prominently displayed on apparel. “I can’t believe people are paying money to be walking advertisements!” he said in disbelief, “Nike should be paying them!”
No one bats an eye at such branding any longer. A brand stands not just for the product itself, it is a social signal, marketing not just the company, but the consumer.[i]
“Nowadays you shouldn’t have a company that is not contributing in some fashion or form or sense to a cause, because the people today who buy a product, they want to know what you have done for somebody else lately,”[ii] Fubu’s Daymond John reflected on his experience investing through Shark Tank.
Consuming Worship
The gathered people of God have always sung. Paul incorporates what appear to be familiar songs in his writing, John shares songs in Revelation, and the Psalms provided a hymn book for the early church. The earliest house church discovered in Syria dates to the early 3rd century AD and is covered with beautiful frescoes (one of which I include below). The church from the very beginning worshiped through art.
Gregorian chant developed in the 9th and 10th centuries and then expanded during the 16th century. The Reformers (with Martin Luther leading the way) wrote songs commoners sang along with.[i] A flood of church music was ushered in over the course of the 17th and 18th centuries as Baroque and Classical composers came on the scene and created timeless music for the church.[ii] But even with the advent of such a rich period of church music, it pales in comparison with what even the average churchgoer sings today. The pace of change has never been faster than it is today.
The church began to sing choruses in the 1970s, but they were catapulted to acceptance in the 1990s. Bands such as Delirious and Passion ushered in a new category of worship music that has dominated the Christian music industry and our sanctuaries for the past 30 years. Today we have access to worship music every waking hour through any host of devices and platforms.
How to Find a Home at (Almost) Any Church
When was the last time you were at church? Maybe it’s been years. Just thinking of your last time at church might make you recoil a bit. Perhaps it was the music, the awkward coffee hour, the rambling sermon.
But perhaps there is something in you that has you wanting to try it again. A friend you respect invited you. Or maybe you have heard clips from the pastor that resonated with you. Do you risk going again? Or will it be another awkward experience?
Or perhaps you have spent a fair amount of time in churches, checking out this one because your friends go there, another one because you connect with the music, and a third, because you like the children’s ministry there. But no church is your home.
God has made you to be part of the community called his church. He purposes for us to be part of a local family of followers of Jesus. That’s both for your good and for the good of the church. You ought to miss the church (and the church ought to miss you!). There the Word is preached, God is worshiped, the people serve one another and the community through their gifts, and the light of God’s salvation shines to the world.
But how do you make the church home? Here are some recommendations:
Welcome to McChurch
The days of being buried in the church where you were baptized and married are long gone for most. Ours is the age of the McChurch.
There are realities embedded in that truth that are good and bad alike. Every cultural location has its own blessings and challenges.
Believe it or not, I don’t think that the problems attendant with our consumerism are wholly bad. Imagine, for instance, how difficult it would to have your congregation embrace the truth that each member is part of a “royal priesthood” (1 Pet 2:9) in France circa 1200 AD. Why would that be so difficult? Because in that culture serfdom would have permeated the identity of the congregation. In a congregation of serfs, it may be easy for them to understand their identity as servants of Christ, but far more challenging for them to internalize the truth that they are priests.
Let’s consider then how our cultural identity as consumers impacts the way we engage with the local church. How does our McDonald’s world shape us?
Here are five statements that shape us as consumers:
1) “I’m broken, therefore I shop.” We look for churches that latch onto our deficits, insecurities, and offer fulfillment to those desires. The pulpit has always been a place where the timeless truth intersects with the cultural questions of the day, but that reality has been heightened in a consumer-driven world. The blessing of this is that the Word of God does offer healing for our brokenness. The problem is that we can be drawn not to the whole counsel of God, but only those portions that we believe help us at any given moment.