Theology

10 Reasons Why You Might Leave Your Church

10 Reasons Why You Might Leave Your Church

It’s that time of year, when transitions happen: seasons close and new seasons begin. Maybe you’re a student who just headed off to college. Maybe you got a new job. Maybe your employer transitioned you. Those are some of the many natural reasons that you might have just left or might be leaving your church in the coming weeks.

Maybe you’ve left or are planning on leaving your church for entirely different reasons, though. Maybe your pastor is in a rut. Maybe the worship grates on you. Maybe you feel like you just don’t know anyone there any longer. Maybe you were injured by someone at the church and you tense up at the awkwardness of returning. Maybe you feel like you’re not getting spiritually fed there any longer. Maybe you are frustrated with how your church has handled Covid-19.

In this four-part series we will explore appropriate reasons for leaving a church, how to leave a church, how to choose a church, and how to join a church.

Let’s explore some of the most common reasons[i] people leave the church and reflect whether they are appropriate or not.

1) I feel disconnected

“The church doesn’t feel like home any longer. My friends have left and I feel like I’m at someone else’s church when I arrive.”

It’s not appropriate to leave: losing friends is hard, but we shouldn’t leave a church because our friends have left. Part of the joy of the church is that God brings together strangers into community. Do the hard work of starting a new small group or serving in a new ministry and God will surely bring about new relationships.

This Week’s Recommendations

This Week’s Recommendations
  1. He Would’ve Come With Me: This is a beautiful story about how God can change hearts. He reflects, “It was, for me, one of the more miraculous heart changes I had ever seen. I remember thinking to myself, “If God can change this old man’s hatred toward Muslims, and replace it with love, well then maybe I’m not crazy for thinking God can change Muslims’ hearts as well.”

  2. Prioritize Your Church: Brent McCracken shares The Gospel Coalition’s heart that its readers would commit to the local church. He says as much as they want you to read their articles, they urge you theirs is something they want you to do far more. “But honestly, there’s an action we’d invite you to take that’s more vital to your spiritual health than almost anything you could click on (including here). What’s the action I’m talking about? Be committed to a church.”

  3. In the Beginning There Were No Canyons: I love this parable from Tim Challies with deep truths about our hearts and suffering. Here he describes the moment canyons were made, “So the Master spoke to the Skies and in an instant a great bolt of lightning leapt from the heavens to the earth, striking the Prairie with a heavy blow. The Prairie cried out in agony and for a long while mourned the gaping, jagged gash that had been left upon it—a deep, charred scar that contrasted sharply with the bright grasses and vivid flowers around. “Why, Master?” it sobbed in bewildered sorrow.”

  4. Jesus isn’t Scared of My Suffering: Bethany Barnard shares the story of her struggle with severe OCD and depression. Make sure you watch her music video as well. She concludes, “The hurdles of traumatic circumstances, doubt, and mental-health struggles no longer feel disqualifying to me as a Christian. They are an irreplaceable grace he gives to reveal his heart to us.”

  5. Magically Turning Into a Banana: This guy’s videos are fun.

This Week’s Recommendations

This Week’s Recommendations
  1. Rejection that Cuts Deep: Kath Thomas with a heartbreaking reflection on their son. She begins, “I have come to believe that rejection and separation from your child is one of the most painful experiences to carry. Seven months ago, my eldest son decided he could no longer have any connection with his family. That night we were in shock, we didn’t get to ask the questions we wished we had before he left, and even now, still don’t really know why he chose this path.”

  2. She is Broken, and She is Beautiful: I love this reflection on the church by Glenna Marshall. It begins with tragedy, “The phone rang before dawn that cold, January day. There’s never a good reason for calls so early; my heart pounded when I answered the phone. A dear church member was on the other end, her voice thick with tears and panic. Her husband died unexpectedly in the night. It was difficult to wrap my mind around this sudden news.”

  3. The Compromise of Sexual Ethics: Brent McCracken explores what has many Christians changing their ideology around sexual ethics. He begins, “Every week it seems new CCM stars, former Christian celebrities, or Christian college graduates announce “evolving” beliefs on Christianity—how their “deconstruction” journey is leading them to reconsider or abandon faith tenets they once believed.”

  4. How to Listen Well: This seems like such a simple thing, but it’s so important—especially in today’s world. Gem and Alan Fadling conclude, “The practice of listening can teach us to slow down inside, to focus our thoughts, to be humble and defer to others as they share. Listening can help us learn that we do not always have to be “on” or fix other people. The Lord Himself is working His own processes in each of our lives.”

  5. Meet Baby Olivia: A powerful 3-D graphic video of life developing in the womb.

The Faith of Unbelief

The Faith of Unbelief

You may or may not be familiar with the name Bart Ehrman. Ehrman is a New Testament scholar and skeptic. Ehrman grew up in a Christian home, attended a conservative Bible school, and then found hiw way to a liberal seminary where his faith in the God of the Bible unraveled. That seminary happens to be the seminary I would attend a couple of decades later.

For Ehrman, everywhere he looks he sees holes in the biblical story. The inconsistencies that he sees have led him to determine that he cannot trust in the God of the Bible. One of those holes that Ehrman comes back to regularly (he’s done so in his books, his blog, and in interviews) is the apparent contradictory telling of Judas’s death in the gospels. Ehrman’s perception of this apparent contradiction demonstrates the choice of faith we have.

Should I Be Baptized?

Should I Be Baptized?

Tears frequently flow in my office. Usually the tears don’t come before entering my office, though. I met Diane[i] in the lobby and all it took was a gentle introduction to start the flow of her tears. Her son, about my age, had died from a meth overdose a few weeks ago.

In every season, Diane prayed and cried out to God for him to rescue her son. She believed that one day her son would return to his faith. He never did so definitively. In his final days in the hospital, Diane begged her son to receive Christ and be baptized. He was in and out of consciousness. At first, he seemed to resist Diane’s faith conversations. Later, as he slipped away, it seemed to Diane like he gave indications through hand squeezes and facial expressions that he wanted her to continue reading scripture, singing worship songs, and praying. And then he died.

As she concluded her story, Diane asked me a direct question, “How can I know if he is in heaven if he was never baptized?”

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1. When to Confront Another’s Sins: Brady Goodwin’s post is loaded with wisdom on this difficult question. He begins by sharing the importance of discerning the other person’s motivations, “If you are unsure of a person’s motivations, seek to cover their offense with love wherever possible. Extend grace, wait with patience, pray for insight and understanding, and strive to love them as Christ does.”

2. Nearly There: My friend Chris Thomas with a moving reflection on his son’s birth and recent departure from the faith. He says, “Two decades later and my son is gone. No gravestone marks his death, or memorial service to recall in our grief. Instead, my son lives apart from us. His path, he said, forked away from faith, and as he walked that wide way, it lead him away from us.”

3. Where and How Progressive Christians Differ from Jesus: I appreciate not just the content of Colton Hinson’s post, but also the tone. He says, “Most of the progressives I met were genuinely compassionate people who love Jesus (or at least their idea of him) and the Bible.”

4. 3 Crises Churches Must Address to Meet the Next Generation: Charles Holmes begins with the challenge of social media. He says, “We’ve often thought that providing students with better Christian media is the solution to winning their attention amid the barraging media of the day. But what if a better way wasn’t us trying to compete with secular content (in which, if we are honest, we will lose every time) but transcending it?”

5. Beautiful Numbers: Need some encouragement today? This is a reminder that, in spite of all of the challenges in today’s world, so much progress has been made (thank you God for your mercy to us, the undeserved!)

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1. The Solution to America’s Theological Salad Bar: Paul Peterson deconstructs the 2020 State of Theology Findings that leave any astute reader scratching their head. How is it the case that 72% of Americans agree that “There is one true God in three persons: God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.” And yet, “52% of Americans claim, ‘Jesus was a great teacher, but he was not God.” The results are baffling. Peterson tries to make sense of the mess. He explains that, “It helps to know what most Americans believe, but even more so, we must grasp how Americans believe, if we might engage them with the truth. Those cultural Christians who attend church on Christmas and Easter can select orthodox-looking statements about God on a survey. Still, their approach to knowledge prepares them to depart from Christian teaching further down the salad bar line. A culture that ingests “Be yourself” will also absorb “Believe yourself.””

2. How Much Money is Enough? (And Other Wisdom from Proverbs): We just finished a series on the book of Proverbs. There are some excellent little gems Geiger has in here we didn’t even get to!

3. The Wait of All Waits: Brittany Lee Allen reflects on waiting and then asks these convicting questions, “All of our waiting points to the wait of all waits. Jesus is coming back. We will see him face to face and leaving all this world behind us, we will live in eternity with our Savior. Do we yearn for that day as much as we do for earthly things? Do I long for Jesus to return more than I do for another baby? Sometimes I wonder if I hope to see his face more than I hope for healing from chronic pain?”

4. Congregations of Bruised Reeds: My friend Benjamin Vrbicek shares that we all are the bruised, but serve a God who sees our bruising. He offers this pastoral wisdom, “Over the last decade of pastoral ministry, I have learned the time required to heal from abuse and other trauma is always longer than I would have guessed.”

5. Shadows in the Sky: I’m a total sucker for videos that display a sliver of the breathtaking glory and power of our Almighty God. Don’t multi-task when you watch this one.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1. Why Was Jesus Crucified? Have you ever wondered why God ordained that Jesus would die by means of crucifixion? Here is a thoughtful answer by JA Medders. His four answers are that it was because of the shame of crucifixion, because of the criminal and legal ramifications, because of the public nature of crucifixion and because deaths were certified by Rome in crucifixion. It’s well worth the read.

2. Scholars Now Believe Job’s Friends Were First-Year Seminary Students: This satirical piece from Babylon Bee had me laughing out loud. “Scholars analyzed the level of annoyingness of the speech patterns of Job's friends and compared it with someone who just started studying the Bible, theology, Greek, and Hebrew.”

3. Faithful in Obscurity: Barbara Lee Harper asks us to identify who Bartholomew, James the son of Alphaeus and Thaddaeus, and Simon the Zealot were (do you know?). She then makes this admonition, “Don’t fret over whether your work seems “important.” Faithfully do what God has called you to do, for His honor and glory.”

4. Cohabitation Among Evangelicals: A New Norm? A discouraging report by David Ayers at the Institute for Family Studies. He says that, “cohabitation is a “new norm among young, professing evangelicals.” It is stunning that this has quietly come to pass among adherents to a form of Christianity that emphasizes radical obedience to an inerrant Bible, forbids all sex outside marriage, and emphasizes being distinct from ‘the world.’”

5. Weird Al Yankovic’s Weirdly Enduring Appeal: This is one of my favorite podcast episodes of 2021 (you probably need to already appreciate Weird Al to truly enjoy it, though). Sam Anderson claims Weird Al Yankovic is not just a parody singer — he’s “a full-on rock star, a legitimate performance monster and a spiritual technician doing important work down in the engine room of the American soul.” I loved learning more about Weird Al’s backstory.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1. The COVID Vaccine Has 666 Written All Over It: But That Doesn’t Matter: Matthew Halsted provides helpful clarification for the context of the Mark of the Beast. He begins with the question, “[I]sn’t there enough evidence that the vaccine is the “number” of the beast, including a bill currently before the House of Representatives (6666) and the very letters “C-O-R-O-N-A” themselves?”

2. Why is There Only One Way to Heaven? This is such a great article by Tim Challies. He begins, “It is an audacious claim of the Christian faith that there is only one way to heaven. “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” we believe. Not most, not some, but all. Since all of us have sinned, all of us are lost and in need of saving.”

3. The Teachable Will Lap the Gifted: Oh my are AW Workman’s words true! He shares, “The unassuming, the unpretentious, the ones who didn’t have to lead, but who eventually led anyway because of their steady faithfulness and consistency – these friends are the ones who quietly got started in ministry, have so far persevered, and are now harvesting righteousness (James 3:18).”

4. Grief Should Always Make Us Better: Tim Challies lost his son to unforeseen and unknown medical issues late last year. He’s had a number of powerful posts on the experience. If you like this one, you should read his other posts. Challies begins, “Death is the great interrupter. Death is the great interrupter because, far more often than not, it strikes when it’s least expected. When death comes it invariably interrupts plans, dreams, projects, goals.”

5. 11 Incredible Species of Insect in Flight: Most of these look fake. Remarkable!

Jesus’ Birth Foretells His Death: the Magi

Jesus’ Birth Foretells His Death: the Magi

God is the best author. He loves writing stories. One of God’s authorial devices is foreshadowing. He loves dropping clues about what will happen at the end of the narrative. If you have the eyes to see, you can see clues scattered about Jesus’ final days in his early days.

The intersection of the Magi and Jesus was years in the making. The backstory of the Magi is shrouded in mystery. By digging up clues from the text and what we know of Persian culture, we can piece together who these men must have been.

Searching Priests

The Magi were likely Zoroastrian priests, educated in astronomy, astrology, and theology. Like Jews, Zoroastrians were monotheists. Their god was Ahura Mazda. Zoroastrians believed that the forces of good and evil were in an eternal struggle. Unlike Jews, their god was limited by evil forces, which were led by Angra Mainyu, the angry spirit.

Zoroastrians were taught to pursue the truth's path and build their lives on good thoughts, good words, and good deeds. Like Jews, Zoroastrians also believed in a Messiah.