grief

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations

1. 4 Romance Myths Couples Should Bust: Les and Leslie Parrott begin here, “Couples need to know that being in love does not mean their expectations align. In fact, each individual’s expectations may lead to tension down the road.”

2. If Necessary, You Have Been Grieved: D. Eaton reminds us that God has purposes for our trials. He says, “God never afflicts us without cause. He is always doing a good work.” There is so much encouragement for sufferers, here.

3. Pastoral PTSD: This podcast is helpful not just for pastors, but congregants too. Jeff Medders considers the ongoing impact conflict, stress, and other ministry hazards can have on the mind, soul, and body of the local pastor. I was grateful for his encouragement to both pastors and congregants near the end.

4. Music Maps: Stuck in a music rut? This is a great website to discover artists you might not find otherwise. Do you love Lauren Daigle? Maybe you will like Moriah Peters or Capital Kings. Is Frank Sinatra your favorite? Have you listened to the Inkspots or Sarah Vaughan? Is Ed Sheeran your jam? Give Birdy or Greg Holden a try.

5. 2021 Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards: This is sure to make you smile. I love #11 “Houston We’ve Had a Problem”—the expression on that poor fish is priceless. What’s your favorite?

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This Week's Recommendations

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This Week's Recommendations

1. The COVID Vaccine Has 666 Written All Over It: But That Doesn’t Matter: Matthew Halsted provides helpful clarification for the context of the Mark of the Beast. He begins with the question, “[I]sn’t there enough evidence that the vaccine is the “number” of the beast, including a bill currently before the House of Representatives (6666) and the very letters “C-O-R-O-N-A” themselves?”

2. Why is There Only One Way to Heaven? This is such a great article by Tim Challies. He begins, “It is an audacious claim of the Christian faith that there is only one way to heaven. “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” we believe. Not most, not some, but all. Since all of us have sinned, all of us are lost and in need of saving.”

3. The Teachable Will Lap the Gifted: Oh my are AW Workman’s words true! He shares, “The unassuming, the unpretentious, the ones who didn’t have to lead, but who eventually led anyway because of their steady faithfulness and consistency – these friends are the ones who quietly got started in ministry, have so far persevered, and are now harvesting righteousness (James 3:18).”

4. Grief Should Always Make Us Better: Tim Challies lost his son to unforeseen and unknown medical issues late last year. He’s had a number of powerful posts on the experience. If you like this one, you should read his other posts. Challies begins, “Death is the great interrupter. Death is the great interrupter because, far more often than not, it strikes when it’s least expected. When death comes it invariably interrupts plans, dreams, projects, goals.”

5. 11 Incredible Species of Insect in Flight: Most of these look fake. Remarkable!

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This Week's Recommendations

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This Week's Recommendations

1. My Son Did Not Live One Day More or Less Than God Planned: Erik Reed shares the powerful story of grieving over his 15-year-old son's death and holding onto the truth of God's sovereignty. He shares, "Before Kaleb existed in the womb, he existed in the mind of God. From the foundation of the world, God determined that Kaleb Reed be born on March 8, 2004. Not only is this true, but He wrote the days of Kaleb’s life in His book, before one single day came to pass. God wrote the days of his life in His book and He didn’t write it in pencil."

2. Medical Ethics, Gender Identity, and Children: Robert George and Ryan Anderson weigh in on this complicated issue. They conclude, "Prudent legislation is needed to prevent adults from interfering with a child’s normal, natural bodily development. “Gender affirmation” procedures violate sound medical ethics. It is profoundly unethical to intervene in the normal physical development of a child as part of “affirming” a “gender identity” at odds with bodily sex."

3. Come to Me All Who Have COVID Weariness: My friend Benjamin Vrbicek with a timely and poignant post. He says, “The flowing current of COVID sadness can drown the strongest swimmer. You might already be gasping for air. If you feel this way, come to Jesus. Pray to him. Read his word. Belong to his church... Come and enjoy the freedom found in being loved by the Savior, not controlled by a harsh slave master.”

4. Navigating Different COVID-19 Recovery Convictions: I have felt the heat of different convictions and share Costi Hinn’s concern that “one of the ways the enemy will seek to divide our ranks within the church is tempting us to use our opinions against each other. IF the Devil has his way, we’ll be throwing stones of accusation from all sides, calling the cautious people ‘soft,’ labeling the optimists of being ‘reckless.’”

5. Do We Really Want to Go Back to Normal: Trevin Wax considers some of the ways he hopes that COVID-19 re-shapes us. He says, “What if this period of forced isolation can help us see the end result of radical individualism’s trajectory, so that in the end we come out of our enclaves and homes with a stronger commitment to our communities, our churches, and our country?”

6. Behind the Scenes of One of the World’s Top Nature Photographers: I love the combination of skill, creativity, and perseverance Yarrow demonstrates in his craft.

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She Wanted Out: Navigating an Unwanted Divorce

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She Wanted Out: Navigating an Unwanted Divorce

I’m so glad to be able to bring you a guest post from my friend Wes Jackson today. Wes has been a friend of mine since Middle School and brings transparency and wisdom to this sensitive topic. I’m sure you will benefit from navigating his experience of divorce and I encourage you to share it with friends who would profit from his insight as well.

Grace and peace,

John

When Divorce Happens: Through a Husband’s Eyes

It was Halloween Day, 2017, when my ex-wife told me she wanted a divorce. This announcement didn’t come completely out of the blue. We were ten days out from our last big fight, and it was only eight days since she sat me down to let me know that she wanted to stay together through the holidays for our kids’ sake and then separate in the new year.

We had been married for about eight and a half years and they were very difficult years together. We had tried Christian counseling. We’d met and prayed with our pastor. I thought we’d tried about everything possible and maybe separation wouldn’t be such a bad idea. We could give each other some space so things could cool down while we continued to meet with our Christian counselor with the hope of reconciling the marriage.

When her desire for a separation changed to a desire for a divorce, everything became much more difficult.

What followed was six to eight months with attorneys and paperwork and appearances in the Arizona Family Court system. During this time, I made three separate overtures to try and reconcile the marriage, but all of them were refused. My wife made it very clear that she was done with the marriage and had moved on.

While I can honestly say that I didn’t want to divorce my wife, I can’t say that I should have been surprised that she wanted to divorce me.

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This Week's Recommendations

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This Week's Recommendations

1.      The Funeral As We Know it is Becoming a Relic: Karen Heller reports that just as we are on the verge of a death boom, the rules of funerals are undergoing significant changes. She shares, " The movement will only accelerate as the nation approaches a historic spike in deaths. Baby boomers, despite strenuous efforts to stall the aging process, are not getting any younger. In 2030, people over 65 will outnumber children, and by 2037, 3.6 million people are projected to die in the United States, according to the Census Bureau, 1 million more than in 2015, which is projected to outpace the growth of the overall population."

2.      Be Slow to Assume: Being slow to anger begins with being slow to assume, Lara D'Entremont suggests: " Maybe this is what Peter meant by, “Love covers a multitude of sins,” (1 Peter 4:8). In my desire to assume the best of another, the small sins of another towards me are overlooked and covered, rather than racked up to be something greater than they were. Let’s toss poor assumptions, give some charity, stretch ourselves a little, and put grace on display."

3.      Why We Need to Stop Saying, "Sorry for Your Loss": This is written from a secular psychological perspective from Ed Preston. Preston is correct though, and I would suggest that the reasons as Christians are even stronger. He suggests, " Perhaps it’s because of our cultural death phobia, and the way it pathologizes everything related to sadness. If we’re not better at dealing with grief, then it’s because we’ve never been taught better. Unfortunately, that leaves the majority of people with only one stock phrase in their repertoire, “I’m sorry for your loss.”" He also includes some practical advice for what you can say.

4.      How to Get Your Church to Engage Scripture More: JR Briggs offers seven great ideas including, " Read a passage, and then ask people to write out 10-to-15 questions about the passage on a piece of paper. Why did the woman ask that of Jesus? What was running through Abraham’s mind when he was walking up the mountain to sacrifice Isaac? Allow people to interact with the text by courageously wrestling with tough questions."

5.      1 in 10 Young Protestants Have Left Church Over Abuse: Kate Shellnut reports on a recent Lifeway Research survey that contains sobering information. She concludes with practical changes churches can consider including, " Assess your church culture first and make needed changes: Do your current members experience safety and freedom in sharing their own stories of suffering?"

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This Week's Recommendations

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This Week's Recommendations

1.      What I Learned About Marriage by Losing My Husband: Good luck not tearing up reading Gaye Clark's poignant letter to her deceased husband.

2.      Be a Gospel Neighbor: Aaron Menikoff on a topic I think is so important for the church, "The requirement for hospitality gets to the heart of neighboring. It’s even a qualification of elder leadership... Paul has a similar message in Romans 12:13–14: “Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.” Paul demands a spirit of generosity to all: the brother or sister, the stranger, and even the enemy! Faithful pastors and Christians alike will strive to be good neighbors. They’ll open up their homes to people around them. Such hospitality is not without cost (it takes time and money)."

3.      Which of the Ten Commandments Still Apply? YouGov and Deseret News reports that 60% of Americans agree that seven of the Ten Commandments still apply. The three below 60%? "You shall have no other gods before me," "You shall not use the name of the Lord your God in vain," and "Remember to keep the Sabbath day holy" (the only commandment below 50%). 

4.      What Dostoyevsky's Prostitute Can Teach Us About Love: If you've ever read Crime and Punishment (which I recently had the joy of re-reading), this is powerful connection between the cross and the book. Mark Galli connects Sonia's reaction to the Christ, "Raskolnikov later meets a young woman, Sonia, who has been compelled by poverty to become a prostitute to support her family. He is immediately drawn to her, and after he learns that Sonia had been friends with Lizaveta, he feels compelled to confess his murders to her... When it dawns on her what he has just confessed, “...What have you done—what have you done to yourself?” she said in despair, and, jumping up, she flung herself on his neck, threw her arms round him, and held him tightly." Raskolnikov is not the only one who is shocked by Sonia’s gesture. The reader is as well... There we see the meaning of the Cross and the revelation of the deepest nature of God. Jesus did not consider the glory of divinity as something to exalt in, but decided to bear the yoke of human nature. He showed himself not only to be a man of sorrows, but also a God who has borne our griefs; not merely a man wounded for our transgression, but also a God bruised for our iniquities (Isa. 53). He saw the grievous sin of humankind, and the Cross is the sign of his “violent, hysterical weeping” for us."

5.      Death Valley Sunup to Sundown: Think Death Valley is ugly? Think again. This is stunning.

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This Week's Recommendations

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This Week's Recommendations

1.      What's the Most Costly City in the World to Live in? An international report says that five of the top ten cities are in Europe. There are no US cities in the top ten, but two in the top twenty. What's the most expensive city you've ever lived in? For us, it was Princeton, NJ.

2.      When Obsessing About Theology Prevents Obedience: Andree Seu Peterson reflects, "Carolyn did Greek boot camp with me at seminary. She was a Carolinian, a people person, and outspoken in her love for Jesus, everything that I was not. I chalked it up to Southern culture. I explained that I was reserved by natural endowment, and more prone to wait for the right moment. She wasn’t impressed: 'I’ve got plenty of faults, but shutting up ain’t one of them.' I did not like Carolyn. Forty years later I’m still waiting for the right moment, and Carolyn’s probably blabbed the gospel all over Dixie. She has offended many people, I’m sure, and won a few to faith. After all, the law of averages."

3.      Two-Thirds of Americans Believe They're Sinful: LifeWay Research reports that while 2/3rds of Americans agree that they're sinful, only 33% of women and 22% of men depend on Jesus to overcome sin. And 52% of Americans believe that you can help earn your way into heaven with good deeds. 

4.      7 Ways Grief Becomes Sinful: The Bible does not tell us to stifle or suppress our grief, but there are ways that grief can become sinful. Paul Tautges draws wisdom from John Owen: "It moves us to take strange pleasure in sadness. 'Strange it is that we should find some kind of pleasure in rousing our sorrows.'"

5.      Online Traps: How so called 'dark patterns' online trick you.

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