You’ve had it happen to you, haven’t you? That thought that jumps into your head, seemingly out of nowhere?
You’re driving along a winding mountain highway and you imagine what would happen if you yanked the steering wheel to the right: what would the crash look like? How would you tumble down the mountain?
Sometimes thoughts are born out of our curiosity. Other times intrusive thoughts enter that are born out of our hearts. We stew on our mistreatment from a colleague or friend and we imagine how we could put them in their place. We imagine harassing them, embarrassing them, even humiliating them.
Part of being a fallen human being is to have intrusive thoughts. An intrusive thought is a thought that enters our mind un-summoned. They might be morbid (imagining our death), violent (imagining injuring someone else), or sexual (imagining a sexual experience). Different people experience intrusive thoughts with different regularity. Different seasons of our lives can increase intrusive thoughts.
How do we deal with these thoughts? Let’s navigate four questions to ask ourselves when we experience intrusive thoughts. Next week we will consider some biblical wisdom on navigating these thoughts.
First Question
Ask yourself: is there something different about the season I am in?
Intrusive thoughts spike during seasons of change or stress. My first job out of college was as a Detention Officer. I worked in the maximum security jail in downtown Phoenix: Madison Street Jail. During that time, I found that I had frequent dreams and intrusive thoughts (they often go hand-in-hand). I imagined being attacked by inmates, I imagined riots, I imagined an inmate tracking me down at our apartment. When I walked into a restaurant, I wanted to sit in the far back corner to watch the door and what was happening in the room. I would sometimes imagine an inmate who had been released the day before coming through the door with a gun and play out how I would respond.
The reason we have a spike in intrusive thoughts during seasons of stress or change isn’t surprising, our minds are on overdrive, working to prepare us for new challenges and dangers. A student preparing for a new semester at a new school will likely have a steady flow of intrusive thoughts that prepare her for the new situation. Someone preparing for a job interview will likely have intrusive thoughts where they imagine interacting with those who will interview them.
Be aware that a spike in intrusive thoughts might signal that you are experiencing stress. Allow the presence of intrusive thoughts to help you recognize a particular need to make sure you are resting and processing your stress with trusted loved ones in your life.
Second Question
Ask yourself: is trauma triggering these intrusive thoughts?
Trauma of the past or present can prompt intrusive thoughts. The weeds of lies grow in the fertile soil of trauma. Take for example a young boy caught in the middle of his parents’ divorce, feeling pulled between mom and dad, both manipulating him and pressuring him to side with them. He goes to bed every night believing that it is his responsibility to fix his parents’ marriage.
“I have to fix it” runs through his head as he eats breakfast, rides the bus to school, and stares out the window while his teacher lectures. His friendships weaken as he obsesses over how to fix his parents’ relationship. He defines himself and his worth by his ability to solve a problem he can’t solve. Intrusive thoughts affect one's ability to understand one’s true identity. If undealt with, this internal monologue in the boy’s heart will impact how he views himself and the seed of this intrusive thought born out of trauma will scatter and multiply.
Third Question
Ask yourself: does my personality lend itself to more frequent intrusive thoughts?
Some people have a more natural bent toward compulsive thoughts. The handbook psychologists use to diagnose patients is called the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). There are strengths and weaknesses to such diagnoses. Diagnoses can be problematic in that they can lead the individual to internalize (pathologize) a struggle. This internalization can often direct one to believe either their diagnosis is intrinsically part of who they are, or that medication or secular psychological assistance is necessary to solve their problem.
On the other hand, psychological definitions can be helpful at times as they help us recognize that the patterns we experience are not unique. Others experience similar struggles: their shared challenges can help us understand the nature of our battle. The DSM 5 (the most recent manual) explains the diagnosis of Obsessive-Compulsive disorder in this way:
[The] presence of obsessions, compulsions, or both:
Obsessions are defined by (1) and (2):
1. Recurrent and persistent thoughts, urges or images that are experienced, at some time during the disturbance, as intrusive, unwanted, and that in most individuals cause marked anxiety or distress.
2. The individual attempts to ignore or suppress such thoughts, urges, or images, or to neutralize them with some thought or action (i.e., by performing a compulsion).[i]
In short, a compulsion is a repetitive behavior “aimed at preventing or reducing distress” that could be anything from hand washing to praying to repeating words.
If you think this might characterize you, first, know that you are not alone. Second, know that you are not condemned to be trapped by your compulsions. Third, know that the way that you naturally try to deal with your intrusive thoughts is not helpful. There is a better way.
Fourth Question
Ask yourself: why am I having this intrusive thought?
The heart of this question is as simple as this: am I sinning? Does the driving force behind the intrusive thoughts point to sin our heart is gripped by, or is it simply our mind’s focused intention?
For instance, when I was a Detention Officer, many of my intrusive thoughts were driven by my mind. My mind expended a lot of energy trying to consider how to protect my wife and myself in a new, dangerous environment. That was not sinful.
On the other hand, some intrusive thoughts emerged that did come from my heart. I remember having intrusive thoughts about hurting an inmate who attacked me who had been hateful toward me. In that case, I don’t believe I was just mentally preparing for a physical threat, I believe that I was processing unresolved forgiveness and bitterness toward this person through my intrusive thought. In this case, I needed to forgive this inmate who had wronged me through his words and threats. The intrusive thought was a flag that my heart had not forgiven him. Similarly, you might have intrusive sexual thoughts about a co-worker that make you realize that you have subconscious sinful desires toward that person. Such intrusive thoughts ought to lead to confession.
Read next week’s post on how to navigate intrusive thoughts and what scripture says about it here.
Photo by Luis Villasmil on Unsplash
[i] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK519704/table/ch3.t13/