Why do I feel so much shame

Breaking Shame's Power

Breaking Shame's Power

I was eleven years old and our Little League season had just come to an end. At my insistence, my parents dropped me off at the mall with my teammates to hang out. Not long after the parents had left, my friends hatched a plan: they wanted to go to see the hit new movie Die Hard 2. A knot formed in my stomach as the plan was hatched. Die Hard was rated R. I’m not sure I had seen a PG-13 movie. I told them that we couldn’t see it because we were too young. My friends scoffed: “I go to rated R movies all the time! They never stop me.” I shrunk back. We paid and walked in.

I felt sick through the whole movie and afterward. When my parents picked me up and asked what we did, I doubled down with a lie, “we just hung out.” I felt sicker.

Even after asking for forgiveness, the cloud over my heart remained. Guilt was gone. Shame remained.

Shame has power.

Shame is one of the most destructive forces on this earth. Shame is destructive because it attacks our spiritual and emotional life.

This Week's Recommendations

This Week's Recommendations
  1. Shame in the Public Arena: Stephen Freeman considers the sticky nature of shame. He urges us to stay far away from its use, “Shaming is easily justified by many. Whether it is doctrine, the Church, the state, the culture, whatever institution stands most in danger, shaming, like violence, is considered an effective tool in guarding the fort. However, it remains the case that shame cannot be used without causing damage to the one who uses it.”

  2. A Life on the Frontier: Chris Thomas tells his story about a conversation with his tattoo artist and a divinely ordained conversation. He shares, “My new friend proceeded to pour out her heartache. As she shaded in my arm, she filled in the gaps of yearning and seeking, of love gained and lost, of hopes she had, and anguish she lived with. And there, with this young woman holding a needle to my arm, I saw past the stereotypes and ink, and saw a frightened and broken girl who carries a fractured image of a God who formed and loved her.”

  3. Encourage and Be Encouraged: A great word from my friend Cassie Watson. I love her observation that we are to be those are called not only to encourage, but to be easily encouraged. She concludes, “Let’s be on the lookout today for the encouragement that God has prepared for us, so that his glory may abound among his people.”

  4. Tim Keller’s Wisdom on Navigating Social Media: Keller explains the sociological and psychological dimensions of new public square of social media. He concludes with advice that is so important for every Christian. His final point is, “Loosen the links between your ideas and your identity.” This post is indispensable for any Christian with a social media account.

  5. The Man on the Middle Cross Said I Can Come: Alistair Begg’s description of the thief’s welcome at heaven is funny and makes the gospel clear.

Breaking the Power of Shame

Breaking the Power of Shame

I was eleven years old and our Little League season had just come to an end. At my insistence, my parents dropped me off at the mall with my teammates to hang out. Not long after the parents had left, my friends hatched a plan: they wanted to go to see the hit new movie Die Hard 2. A knot formed in my stomach as the plan was hatched. Die Hard was rated R. I’m not sure I had seen a PG-13 movie. I told them that we couldn’t see it because we were too young. My friends scoffed: “I go to rated R movies all the time! They never stop me.” I shrunk back. We paid and walked in.

I felt sick through the whole movie and afterward. When my parents picked me up and asked what we did, I doubled down with a lie, “we just hung out.” I felt sicker.

Even after asking for forgiveness, the cloud over my heart remained. Guilt was gone. Shame remained.

Shame has power.

Shame is one of the most destructive forces on this earth. Shame is destructive because it attacks our spiritual and emotional life.