“I guess I just need to develop rhino skin.” My friend was weary of being battered by gossip and slander. I empathized. I have similar struggles. “Isn’t there a less painful way to develop thick skin?” I asked.
God has given humans skin that is a scant 2 millimeters thick. That is thinner than most cardstock. Meanwhile, our rhinoceros friends have skin that is over two inches thick. Wow!
Imagine what it would be like to have two-inch-thick skin. As I type I have a paper cut on my right forefinger and a sliced tip of my left thumb from sloppy vegetable chopping. Those would be no more!
Wouldn’t it be a gift to thicken up our skin and repel the slings and arrows of this world?
But at what cost?
Stoicism offers the way of the rhino: a philosophy designed to navigate joy and pain in life with indifference.
Addiction offers the way of the rhino: numb your heart to pain through alcohol, pills, or porn.
Jesus was not stoic. He didn’t numb himself. Jesus didn’t have rhino skin.
Jesus wept.
Jesus wept for Lazarus and his sisters when he died.
Jesus cried out in pain for a city that rejected him, “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often would I have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing!” (Matt. 23:37).
Jesus, under the strain of his coming crucifixion, cried out to God, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done” (Lk 22:42). He begged his friends to pray with him as he sweat droplets of blood.
Why is two-millimeter-thick skin better than two-inch-thick skin? Why is the way of Jesus better than the way of the rhino?
The work of God is a work of softening, not hardening, of enlivening, not numbing. God promises that the work to come (through Jesus and the Holy Spirit) will transform stony hearts into fleshy hearts. He says, “And I will give them one heart, and a new spirit I will put within them. I will remove the heart of stone from their flesh and give them a heart of flesh” (Ezek. 11:19).
If God doesn’t shield us from the pain of this world, how will we learn to navigate slander, loss, and pain?
David lived a life that was fraught with betrayal and agony. From his father omitting him when Samuel came to anoint the next king of Israel from among his sons, to his brothers despising him when Goliath threatened the nation, to Saul seeking to take his life and spreading slander about him throughout Israel, to the death of his baby boy, to the death of his best friend, to his son Absalom creating a coup to steal the nation from him to his closest advisor joining Absalom in his treachery, David experienced profound disappointment and loss in his life. Many of David’s Psalms are written in the throes of betrayal, most while he is on the run from Saul. How does David walk with God in these heart-wrenching moments?
First, David doesn’t minimize the pain. He acknowledges how serious his hurt is.
Second, David takes it directly to God. Because of who God is, David expects God to do something about what he is experiencing. He calls on God to respond to his enemies.
Third, David seeks his refuge in God. Throughout the Psalms, David asks that God be his rock and his fortress.
David maintains a soft heart by not minimizing his pain or denying his pain but by crying out to God and then allowing God to be his shield. When we trust God to be our Judge and our Protector, we allow ourselves to feel without numbing, to hurt without growing bitter.
Listen to how David prays in Psalm 28 and consider how you might be able to pray to God like this when you feel injured.
To you, O Lord, I call;
my rock, be not deaf to me,
lest, if you be silent to me,
I become like those who go down to the pit.
2 Hear the voice of my pleas for mercy,
when I cry to you for help,
when I lift up my hands
toward your most holy sanctuary.
3 Do not drag me off with the wicked,
with the workers of evil,
who speak peace with their neighbors
while evil is in their hearts.
4 Give to them according to their work
and according to the evil of their deeds;
give to them according to the work of their hands;
render them their due reward.
5 Because they do not regard the works of the Lord
or the work of his hands,
he will tear them down and build them up no more.
6 Blessed be the Lord!
For he has heard the voice of my pleas for mercy.
7 The Lord is my strength and my shield;
in him my heart trusts, and I am helped;
my heart exults,
and with my song I give thanks to him.
8 The Lord is the strength of his people;
he is the saving refuge of his anointed.
9 Oh, save your people and bless your heritage!
Be their shepherd and carry them forever.
Exchange your rhino skin for the Lord, your strength and shield. Don’t let this harsh world numb you; come to life as you rest in the protection of our Savior.
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Photo by Daley van de Sande on Unsplash