Let’s be honest: the standard Jesus calls us when it comes to lust can feel profoundly unfair. It is God, after all, who created us as physical beings. It is God who created us as sexual beings. It is God who gave us desires. God gave us libido. And God gave us an imagination.
And in all this, God has created us in his image! God is the being with the most powerful desires in the universe! What kind of image-bearers would we be if we did not also have desires?
In recognizing that God created us as desiring beings, we acknowledge that God has called us to direct those desires to himself and his righteousness.
Is it possible to never lust? No. Not in this life.
But is it possible to fight against anger and lust? Yes.
Tolerating sin is not okay. We must fight with everything we’ve got, small and large.
Knowing what is at stake, Jesus calls us to take radical measures to flee from lust. He says:
If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell. (Matthew 5:29-30)
Let’s be clear about what Jesus is and isn’t saying here. Jesus isn’t calling for self-mutilation. But Jesus is telling us to treat our twisted desires with the utmost seriousness. In fact, that little phrase “causes you to” that Jesus applies to our right eye and our right hand is the same word for a trap in Greek. Jesus tells us to treat temptation to lust like a spring-loaded trap. Stay away!
The first two posts have addressed two ways to do battle: 1) fight for the greatest pleasure of all (God himself); 2) consider the stakes of giving into our lust.
Today, let’s conclude by considering nine practical ways to battle lust in our lives[i]:
1) Fight against cultural norms of beauty. What we think is beautiful has not emerged from a vacuum. Our culture’s standards of beauty have shaped us. Work to have your eyes for beauty transformed by God’s eye for beauty, that “imperishable beauty of a gentle and a quiet spirit,”[ii] that beauty exhibited in the fruits of the Spirit.
2) Put protection on your devices. Our devices are potential portals to a world of pornography and lust. Don’t deceive yourself into thinking you’re strong enough. You don’t get brownie points for creating more temptation for yourself. Don’t put yourself or your family in that situation. Our family uses Qustodio. I’ve used Covenant Eyes in the past and have appreciated their service. I know those who like X3, Net Nanny, or other services. Choose a service you think will be best for you. It’s worth every penny.[iii]
3) Keep your family’s devices in public areas of your home. Don’t let your family slip into the habit of sliding into your rooms with your devices. Aloneness plus devices is a bad combination.
4) Don’t mess around with traps. Each of us has different things that can entrap our hearts to lust. Do you know your traps? It isn’t just porn sites that can entice your heart to lust. For some, desire is stoked by romantic books, shows, or movies. For others, images on sports or even news websites are triggers. Stay away from traps.
5) Go to bed when your spouse goes to bed. That extra show isn’t worth it. If you want to read, use a book lamp. Whether you are married or single, get in the habit of not allowing technology to put you to sleep.
6) Cultivate your marriage bed. If you are married, expend emotional and relational energy to maintain a healthy, intimate relationship. Authentic intimacy takes a lot more work than the phony version. Don’t settle for the status quo. If you’re single, cultivate healthy relational intimacy with brothers and sisters in Christ.
7) Don’t mess around with inappropriate flirtation. If you are married, it is unacceptable to flirt with anyone who isn’t your spouse. If you are unmarried, don’t even begin flirting with someone who might not be a potential spouse.
8) Find accountability. We find accountability in true and transparent Christian friendships. Invest in Christian relationships. Join a connection group. Be real. James and John both tell us to confess our sin to one another, not just to God.[iv] Satan loves darkness. God loves the light. Bring your sin into the light, and you will loosen the evil one’s grip on you.
9) Seek help. If it seems too daunting to start this process with a new men’s or women’s group, start with a Christian counselor[v] or a recovery group. Or, perhaps you just need additional help than your group. Those who are strong recognize their need for help. Don’t buy the lie that you can go it alone.
Fight with all you’ve got! Fight the small battles. Fight the big battles.
And then fight with the most critical tool you can fight with: pure desire. Cultivate your love of God and desire for him.
Don’t forget God’s purpose for us in this battle: to shape our hearts, minds, and lives so that they image him in this world. He wants the world to see purity, true love, and faithfulness on display in us. And don’t forget that he has given us his Spirit that empowers us to walk out the life that he has called us to.
[i] As I have in the other posts, I would commend Benjamin Vrbicek’s book Struggle Against Porn, where he offers many more suggestions for this battle.
[ii] 1 Peter 3:4
[iii] For more, see: https://famisafe.wondershare.com/internet-filter/internet-filter-reviews.html or https://www.learnreligions.com/top-christian-internet-filtering-services-701270
[iv] James 5:16; 1 John 1:9
[v] There are several counselors in the Tucson area we regularly recommend. My wife Angel, at https://www.wholehopecounseling.com/ is one of those.
You may also appreciate:
Part 1: Does Jesus tell us we “can’t get no satisfaction”? Our struggle against lust for something greater
Part 2: Could Lust Send Me To Hell
Part 3: How To Flee The Trap of Lust
Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash