Tears frequently flow in my office. Usually the tears don’t come before entering my office, though. I met Diane[i] in the lobby and all it took was a gentle introduction to start the flow of her tears. Her son, about my age, had died from a meth overdose a few weeks ago.

She raised her boys in the church and he had made a confession of faith as a ten-year-old, but was never baptized. He began experimenting with drugs by the time he was in high school. He was arrested not long after graduation and began bouncing in and out of jail. As any ex-convict soon learns, a felony record dramatically shrinks one’s employment opportunities. Diane’s son was no different.

He made a living as a painter, but had a fall-out with a boss and vowed never to work for anyone again. He lived with his mom for a while until she demanded that he got a job. He refused. He would rather be homeless. He continued to battle with his addiction, going in and out of rehab facilities and sometimes jail.

In every season, Diane prayed and cried out to God for him to rescue her son. She believed that one day her son would return to his faith. He never did so definitively. In his final days in the hospital, Diane begged her son to receive Christ and be baptized. He was in and out of consciousness. At first, he seemed to resist Diane’s faith conversations. Later, as he slipped away, it seemed to Diane like he gave indications through hand squeezes and facial expressions that he wanted her to continue reading scripture, singing worship songs, and praying. And then he died.

As she concluded her story, Diane asked me a direct question, “How can I know if he is in heaven if he was never baptized?”

To answer this question, let’s begin by considering what baptism is.

The 1689 Baptism Confession of Faith is a helpful starting place to understand baptism.  

1. Baptism is an ordinance of the New Testament, ordained by Jesus Christ, to be unto the party baptized, a sign of his fellowship with him, in his death and resurrection; of his being engrafted into him; of remission of sins; and of giving up into God, through Jesus Christ, to live and walk in newness of life. (Romans 6:3-5; Colossians 2:12; Galatians 3:27; Mark 1:4; Acts 22:16; Romans 6:4).

2. Those who do actually profess repentance towards God, faith in, and obedience to, our Lord Jesus Christ, are the only proper subjects of this ordinance. (Mark 16:16; Acts 8:36, 37; Acts 2:41; Acts 8:12; Acts 18:8).

3. The outward element to be used in this ordinance is water, wherein the party is to be baptized, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. (Matthew 28:19, 20; Acts 8:38).

4. Immersion, or dipping of the person in water, is necessary to the due administration of this ordinance. (Matthew 3:16; John 3:23).

In short, baptism represents our spiritual union with Christ through the picture of immersion. Paul explains it this way in Romans 6:3-4:

Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.

What is Paul saying? Our first baptism is spiritual. Baptism by immersion or sprinkling means nothing if one hasn’t been spiritually united with Christ in his death and resurrection. Our physical baptism is a picture of this spiritual reality: we are united with Christ in his death and united with him in his resurrection. Baptism declares that our flesh is in the grave and our spiritual self is alive with Christ.

There is one final thing to note: Jesus commands us to be baptized. His final words in the gospel of Matthew are these, “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit…”

Let’s return to Diane. She desperately wants to be assured of her son’s salvation. Diane believes that if her son would have been baptized, she would have confidence in his eternal fate.

A number of questions surface: can you be a Christian and not be baptized? Does baptism give us assurance of salvation? One other question often arises: when should someone get re-baptized?

We can confidently tell Diane that it is possible that her son was a Christian. His decision not to be baptized does not mean that he never trusted Christ with his life. In fact, if he had been baptized, that would not mean that we ought to be confident that he was a Christian.

When we look to scripture, we see that we can gain confidence of others’ salvations through their declaration of faith (Roms 10:9) and the fruit of their life (Mat 7:16-20). Noticeable in its absence is baptism. Inasmuch as baptism is an act of obedience, it is a fruit of the Spirit.

Let me address one other question that often comes up: under what circumstances should I be re-baptized? It’s pretty clear that you should not be re-baptized if your first baptism was a genuine expression of faith in Christ. Baptism isn’t appropriate for someone who is re-dedicating their lives to Christ. It might be appropriate, however, if you believe that the first time you were baptized was not an expression of your trust in Christ. If your baptism was a mere religious ceremony, or done as an expression of a religious impulse, then it may make sense to be re-baptized.

I don’t say anything here to diminish baptism. Jesus’ public ministry began with his baptism. Jesus closes his ministry on earth with an admonition to be baptized. It is the only ordinance (sacrament) that we are to participate in only once.

My heart breaks for Diane and many others who lose loved ones without confidence in their salvation. We just celebrated baptisms at New Life and one of the gifts of our baptism process is hearing those who have been baptized declare their trust in Jesus Christ and share their story of how he rescued them. And yet we acknowledge that even these declarations do not give us the ability to discern the status of their hearts. If you have trusted Jesus, then be baptized! Be baptized because he commands it. Be baptized because it is a beautiful gift to declare your faith. Be baptized for the same reason if you get married, there are witnesses.

But do not confuse baptism with faith. God rescues us by grace through faith.

We can trust God with every heart. He is loving and just.  

[i] Diane is not her real name.

 You May Also Appreciate:

Celebrating God’s Rescue

Photo by Marcos Paulo Prado on Unsplash